Tips & tricks

A smack on your buttocks can feel surprisingly good, and there is an explanation for that. Pain and pleasure are processed in your brain partly by the same systems. When you are spanked, your body produces substances that dampen pain and can give you a nice, slightly floaty feeling. And the person doing the spanking often becomes very focused. For many people, spanking with mutual consent is a way to feel more. Read on to find out exactly what happens and how to try it out safely. Pain and pleasure: neighbors in your brain It sounds contradictory, but pain and pleasure are closer together in your mind than you think. In a review study, neuroscientists Leknes and Tracey showed that pain and pleasure partly use the same brain areas and signaling substances. The reward system, where dopamine plays a role, and the body's own opioid system, involving substances like endorphins, are involved in both. As a result, a stimulus that is actually a little painful can also be experienced as pleasurable in the right setting. That setting is the keyword. A smack you don't expect or don't want just feels like pain. A smack you have chosen yourself, from someone you trust, and while you are already aroused, is processed very differently in your brain. Your expectations, your mood, and the trust you feel color how you experience the stimulus. What happens in your body The moment the smack lands, your body reacts with alertness. Your heart rate rises, your breathing changes, and your stress system kicks in for a moment. At the same time, your body produces painkillers. This combination of tension and relaxation gives many people a rush, a tingling and energetic feeling that lingers for a while. Research by psychologist Brad Sagarin and colleagues shows that your body really does participate. In the person being spanked or otherwise stimulated, the stress hormone cortisol increased during the session. Couples for whom the session went well felt closer to each other afterward. An exciting experience that you successfully navigate together can therefore strengthen your bond. Subspace and flow: two sides of the same session Anyone who is spanked often might know the word subspace: a state in which you think less, time blurs, and you become completely immersed in the moment. A small study by Ambler and colleagues found evidence that this is correct. In those who received the stimuli, self-awareness and sense of time temporarily decreased. This fits a state in which the thinking, planning part of your brain takes a step back for a moment. And the person doing the spanking? In that study, they were more likely to end up in a flow state: completely focused, with a strong sense of control. So it’s not the case that one person enjoys it while the other is just doing their best. Both roles can provide their own kind of high. The study was small, so view it as an interesting clue rather than hard evidence. How to start spanking safely Start with a conversation, even if it feels exciting to bring it up. What do you both like, how hard is acceptable, and what is a boundary? Agree on a safeword. Many people use a traffic light system: green means keep going, orange means take it slower, and red means stop immediately. Start with your hand. This way you can feel how hard you are hitting and immediately notice how the skin reacts. Warm up the skin with soft taps and caresses, and build up the intensity slowly. Warmed-up skin can handle more and feels the stimulus more pleasantly. Only spank the fleshy parts, i.e., the buttocks and the back of the thighs. Stay away from the lower back, where your kidneys are, and from the tailbone, spine, joints, and head. A pink color and a warm feeling are normal. Broken skin, bruises where you didn't agree on them, or pain that feels different from "good" are signs to stop. From hand to toy If you want more, you can try a toy. The spanking paddle distributes the impact over a larger surface area and provides a firm, thudding sensation. Those who prefer a more stinging effect might look at a flogger like the vegan leather whip. Let the tails glide softly over the skin before you strike. The rope whip is a bit firmer and fits well with those who also enjoy shibari. Make it even more intense with a blindfold. If you don't see when the next hit is coming, every touch becomes more exciting. And those who want to experience it while restrained can combine spanking with vegan leather handcuffs. Aftercare is part of it After a session, the body can have a bit of a dip because the rush is fading. Therefore, take time for each other. A cuddle, something to drink, a cooling cream on the skin, and talking about what felt good make the experience complete. This way, not only your pleasure but also your trust grows. And that is exactly what makes spanking so enjoyable. Ready to get spanked? Let the fun begin! 💙 FAQ about spanking Why do people enjoy spanking? Pain and pleasure are processed in your brain partly by the same systems. With a smack, your body produces substances that dampen pain and can provide a pleasant feeling. If you choose the stimulus yourself and trust the other person, you experience that stimulus differently than ordinary pain. What is subspace? Subspace is a state in which the person being spanked or otherwise stimulated thinks less, time blurs, and they become completely immersed in the moment. A small study found evidence that self-awareness and sense of time temporarily decrease during such a session. Where are you allowed to spank? Only spank the fleshy parts: the buttocks and the back of the thighs. Stay away from the lower back, the tailbone, the spine, joints, and the head. How do you start spanking? First, discuss what you enjoy and agree on a safeword. Start with your hand, warm up the skin with soft taps, and build up the intensity slowly. Which toy can you use to spank? A spanking paddle provides a firm, thudding sensation because the impact is distributed over a large area. A flogger provides a more stinging sensation. Always start gently and build up slowly. Is it normal for the skin to turn red after spanking? A pink or red color and a warm feeling are normal. Stop if there is broken skin, unwanted bruising, or pain that no longer feels good.

The meaning and effect of different gemstones Rose quartz for self-love, obsidian for protection, carnelian for a good dose of zest for life. In crystal healing, every stone has its own meaning. This isn't science, but an age-old tradition of symbolism and intuition. And that is exactly what makes it fun: if you choose a stone because its meaning resonates with you, your yoni egg moment becomes a lot more personal. Our favorite? Based on our favorite color: green. Based on the effect: rose quartz. Because there is nothing like a healthy dose of self-love. At a glance Stone Stands for Chakra Rose quartz Self-love and gentleness Heart Amethyst Intuition and peace Third eye White quartz Clarity, amplification Crown Selenite Cleansing and clarity Crown Jade Balance and grounding Heart Obsidian Protection and letting go Root Carnelian Zest for life and creativity Sacral   Rose quartz: the stone of self-love If there is one stone that almost everyone knows, it is rose quartz. In crystal healing, this is the stone of love: not primarily for someone else, but for yourself. It belongs to the heart chakra and represents gentleness, compassion, and accepting yourself as you are. A beautiful stone for your first yoni egg, or for moments when you could be a little kinder to yourself. → Rose quartz yoni egg · Set in gift box · Kegel set · Yoni wand Amethyst: for when you want to look inward In crystal healing, the deep purple of amethyst belongs to the third eye, the chakra of intuition and inner wisdom. Amethyst represents peace, spiritual deepening, and listening to your gut feeling. Do you like to turn your yoni egg moment into a meditation? Then this is your stone. → Amethyst yoni eggs in gift box White quartz: the master stone White, or clear, quartz is called the "master stone" in crystal healing. It represents clarity and is said to amplify the energy of other stones. So it doesn't have a pronounced theme, but is a neutral, pure choice. Great if you are looking for peace and focus, or if you don't yet know where your intention lies. → White quartz yoni eggs in gift box Selenite: the cleanser Milk-white and silky-shiny: in crystal healing, selenite is known as a cleansing stone. It is said to dissolve blockages, wash away old tension, and create space for clarity. Many people also use selenite to energetically charge other stones. A stone for a fresh start. → Selenite yoni egg Jade: balance and happiness In many cultures, jade has symbolized happiness and harmony for centuries. In crystal healing, it is a grounding stone that helps you center yourself and land back in your body. Jade stands for balance and gentle strength: the quiet confidence of someone who knows her worth. → Jade yoni eggs in gift box Obsidian: the honest mirror Obsidian is formed from lava, and you can see that character reflected in its meaning. In crystal healing, this deep black stone stands for protection, transformation, and letting go of old patterns. Obsidian is called a mirror that shows you what you would rather not see. So it is not the most cuddly stone, but a powerful one if you are ready to look at yourself honestly. → Obsidian yoni eggs in gift box Carnelian: fire and zest for life Orange carnelian is the energetic one of the bunch. It belongs to the sacral chakra, which in crystal healing is connected to creativity, pleasure, and sensuality. Carnelian stands for passion and self-confidence, in life and in the bedroom. For when you could use some extra fire. → Carnelian yoni egg How to choose? There is no right or wrong choice. Ask yourself what you need right now: more gentleness for yourself (rose quartz), peace and deepening (amethyst), a fresh start (selenite), balance (jade), letting something go (obsidian), or more fire (carnelian). Don't know? Then white quartz is a neutral choice. Or just choose the stone that catches your eye first, because that, too, is intuition. You can read how to use and clean a yoni egg in our guide for beginners. Doubting between two stones? Send us a DM or email info@lielei.nl. #talkwithLieLei Let the fun begin! 💙 FAQ: frequently asked questions about yoni egg gemstones Which gemstone suits me?Choose based on what you need: rose quartz for self-love, amethyst for peace and intuition, jade for balance, obsidian for letting go, carnelian for zest for life, selenite for a fresh start, and white quartz as a neutral choice. Do gemstones really work?The meaning of gemstones comes from crystal healing, a tradition of symbolism and intuition. There is no scientific evidence for any effect. For many people, the meaning makes the ritual more personal. Which stone is a good first choice?Rose quartz is a popular first stone, because in crystal healing it stands for self-love and gentleness. Still doubting? White quartz is a neutral choice. Which stone belongs to which chakra?Rose quartz and jade belong to the heart chakra, amethyst to the third eye, white quartz and selenite to the crown chakra, obsidian to the root chakra, and carnelian to the sacral chakra.

Search for "yoni egg" and you will read that it balances your hormones, trains your bladder, and has been secretly passed down for thousands of years. We love yoni eggs, but we don't go along with that. Those ancient origins have never been proven, and a gemstone is not a medicine. What a yoni egg can do: help you feel your pelvic floor, consciously take time for yourself, and get to know your body better. Those who believe in the spiritual power of gemstones (like some of our test subjects) also claim that each type of yoni egg has its own positive effect on them. What is a yoni egg? A smoothly polished, egg-shaped piece of gemstone that you insert vaginally. "Yoni" is Sanskrit for the female genitalia, and in spiritual circles, it also represents feminine power. Most eggs have a small hole at the narrow end for a string. Who is it for (and who should avoid it)? A yoni egg is for you if you: are curious about your pelvic floor and want to feel where it is; enjoy rituals and moments to yourself; want to get to know your body and your sexuality better. Do not use it during your period, if you have an infection or irritation, during pregnancy, or in the first few months after giving birth. Do you have pelvic floor issues, such as urinary incontinence, pain, or a feeling of prolapse? Then see a pelvic floor physical therapist first. A yoni egg is not a treatment. If you have an overly tense pelvic floor, it can even be counterproductive. Which stone should you choose? For insertion, you want a hard, smooth stone without cracks. At LieLei, you can choose from rose quartz, white quartz, amethyst, carnelian, jade, obsidian, and selenite. The stones have been treated so that they are suitable for internal use. That is important, because some stones, like selenite, would otherwise not be suitable for this. For example, because they are too soft or could (partially) dissolve in water. Check your egg before every use: if you see or feel a crack or chip, stop using it. Do you want to know what each stone stands for spiritually? You can read about that here. With or without a string? Always start with a string. That way, you can remove the egg without any hassle. Using it without a string is only for when you can really feel how to relax your pelvic floor, because then you can let the egg slide out on its own. Unsure about the size? With our rose quartz cone set, you start a bit larger, as that is easier to hold, and work your way down to smaller sizes. How to use a yoni egg Cleaning. Wash the egg with lukewarm water. Optionally with a mild, unscented soap. But rinse it off well to prevent your pH balance from being disrupted. Do not use hot or boiling water: stones can crack due to the temperature difference. Relaxing. Take a moment: a few calm breaths, lying down or half-sitting. Insertion. Wide end first, so that the narrow end (with the string) points downwards. A little water-based lubricant helps. Does it not feel right? Do not force it; try again another time. Practicing: tightening and releasing. Squeeze gently, as if you are holding in pee, and then release completely. Releasing is just as important as tightening. Start with a few minutes and build up gradually. Removing. With a string: pull gently. Without a string: in a squatting position, relax the pelvic floor and push lightly. Cleaning and storing. Wash again, let dry thoroughly, and store separately so that the egg is not damaged. Don't: wear the egg for hours, sleep with it, or keep it in during sex. The string Use unscented, unwaxed string or the string that came with your egg, and replace it often. Bacteria can get trapped in a string and in the drill hole, so rinse the hole well after every use. Any other questions? We are not sexologists or doctors, but we are experienced experts. Send us a DM on Instagram or email info@lielei.nl, and we will be happy to help you. #talkwithLieLei Let the fun begin! 💙 FAQ: frequently asked questions about yoni eggs How long can a yoni egg stay in?Start with a few minutes and build up gradually. Do not wear it for hours and do not sleep with it. Does a yoni egg help with urinary incontinence?That has not been proven. If you suffer from urinary incontinence or other pelvic floor complaints, see a pelvic floor physical therapist. Which stone is best for beginners?A hard, smooth stone such as rose quartz or white quartz, with a string, in a slightly larger size. Can I use a yoni egg during my period?No, wait until your period is over.

where to start (and where not to, just yet) First, a secret that most lists won't tell you: shibari is barely about knots. A tie stays in place primarily through wraps and frictions, the points where rope clamps against rope. Knots are used sparingly, and the most important requirement is that they cannot tighten. Remember that, and you are already further ahead than most beginners. In this blog, you will read about the five ties you will encounter first, what they do, and who they are suitable for. To truly learn them, you need visuals. That is why we refer to videos and workshops when practicing. Before you begin: 5 points of safety Safety shears within reach. Not regular scissors, but blunt-tip shears, which allow you to quickly cut rope without touching skin. Know the sensitive areas. The upper arm (especially the outer side) and the wrist have nerves that lie just below the skin. Pressure there can cause nerve damage within minutes. Stop at these signs: tingling, numbness, a cold or discolored hand or foot, or a wrist that cannot extend properly. Do not "finish up first," but release immediately. Agree in advance: what is and is not okay, and establish a safeword or signal. Maintain contact while tying and ask regularly how it feels. Never leave someone who is tied up alone. Not even "for a second." 1. Single column tie: the foundation of everything With this tie, you secure one body part, such as a wrist or ankle. Almost every other tie begins with this, so learn this first. What it is about: you fold the rope in half, wrap it twice around the wrist, and secure it with a knot that cannot close, such as a Somerville bowline. A regular double knot is actually unsafe here: if the rope is pulled, the wraps will tighten. Check: you should be able to slide two fingers between the rope and the skin. Suitable for beginners: yes. This is your starting point. See how the rope runs: video by Crash Restraint 2. Double column tie: two wrists or ankles together The same concept as the single column, but for two body parts next to each other. After the wraps, you pass the rope through between the wrists or ankles one or two times, around the wraps. That cinch ensures the tie cannot tighten. Suitable for beginners: yes, as soon as the single column is solid. See how the rope runs: video by Kinetik Speicher 3. Chest harness: your first real structure A chest harness with rope lines above and below the breasts, secured over the shoulders. It immediately looks like shibari and is the basis for many subsequent ties. Note: the harness must not restrict breathing. Have your partner take a deep breath while you tie. If that isn't possible, it's too tight. Suitable for beginners: yes, as a second or third step. See how the rope runs: video by Crash Restraint 4. Futomomo: the bent leg This involves tying a leg in a bent position, thigh against calf. A nice tie to practice with because fewer vulnerable nerves are involved compared to the arms. Note: not everyone can comfortably bend their knee fully. Keep the tie short initially, a few minutes, and watch the circulation of the foot. Suitable for beginners: yes. See how the rope runs: video by MaillerPhong 5. Takate kote: beautiful, but not for now The takate kote ties the arms behind the back with rope lines around the upper arms. It is perhaps the classic of Japanese bondage, and because of that, it appears on almost every beginners' list. We intentionally do not do that: the rope lines run exactly over the nerve on the outside of the upper arm. Nerve damage from a takate kote occurs regularly, even with experienced binders. Our advice: save this tie until you have mastered the basics, and learn it from someone standing next to you, for example in a workshop. We recommend the workshops of KiNKhearted. What rope do you need? For beginners, softer rope works best. It provides enough grip but isn't so tight that you can't get it undone. Start with a 5-meter rope, as this is easier to manage. Our LieLei Bondage Rope is 5 or 10 meters long, [thickness] mm thick, and made of cotton, hemp, and/or jute. You don't need to treat the ropes anymore, so they are ready to use immediately. Furthermore, they are soft, which is ideal for beginners and kind to the skin. Check out the entire shibari collection. How to practice smart Practice the single column first on your own leg or a chair leg, until you can tie it without thinking. Use videos to see how the rope runs. Text alone is not enough. Want to learn faster and safer? Take a workshop. Someone watching you will immediately see what you are missing. FAQ: frequently asked questions about shibari knots Which rope is best for beginners?Natural rope made of cotton, jute, or hemp about 6 mm thick. It grips better than synthetic rope, so your ties will stay in place better. Is shibari safe?It can be safe if you know where the risks are. Use knots that cannot tighten, avoid pressure on the upper arm and wrist, keep safety shears on hand, and release immediately if there is tingling or numbness. Can I practice shibari on myself?Yes, you can perfectly practice tying the single column and double column on your own leg. For harnesses and arm ties, you need someone else, and those are best learned under supervision. Which shibari knot should I learn first?The single column tie. Almost every other tie builds upon this. Are you ready to surrender to the meditative power of Shibari? Let the fun begin! 💙

The Practical Guide for Beginners You’ve just been introduced to shibari and you’re fascinated. Now you want to get started yourself: tying knots, feeling how it works, and learning from what works and what doesn't. Great plan. Here are five practical tips for your first practice sessions at home. 1. Choose the Right Rope Not all rope is the same. For shibari, the rule is: natural hemp or jute. This rope has grip and gives you a real feel for the knots you are tying. Nylon might seem tempting, but it hurts the skin and can cause rope burn or other painful areas. Tip: New jute rope can be a bit stiff. Soaping it gently and letting it dry helps. 2. Have a Shibari Shear Ready This is not optional: it is essential. A shibari shear (or standard scissors with short blades) must always be within reach. Not because everything will go wrong, but because you need to be able to release quickly in case of panic, pain, or tingling. Make sure you and your partner know where the shears are located. 3. Check In, Check In, Check In You are learning. This means you must regularly feel and ask: Are hands and fingers still warm and pink? Any tingling or numbness? How does it feel? Too tight? Okay? Feedback from your partner (yourself or someone else) is worth its weight in gold. Those are your best lessons. 4. Not Hours in the Rope Don't tie for too long (definitely not for hours) and ensure that you untie everything after practicing. Your body will tell you what it needs; listen to it. 5. Set Ground Rules in Advance Are you going to practice together? Great. But make sure you both know the plan. Anyone acting as a "partner" wants to know that is the goal—no surprises. Clarity makes everything easier. More Than Just Tying Knots? Shibari is more than technique — it can also be meditative, a moment of peace and connection. If you want to take it beyond the practice phase and explore that deeper side, we have more tips for you here. Read: The Meditative Side of Shibari FAQ — Practicing Shibari at Home How long does it take before I can tie a knot? That depends on practice and patience. Some grasp it in a few sessions, others take more time. Enjoy the learning process. What if my partner feels pain? Stop. Untie the rope. Talk about it. Maybe it was too tight, maybe your angle was wrong. Better luck next time. Can I practice alone? Yes, definitely. You can practice on yourself or on a mannequin / pillow. This gives you room to experiment without pressure. How much rope do I need? For a basic section, you need about 5-8 meters. You can always buy more to try out different lengths. Is shibari safe? Yes — if you are careful, check in, and don't pinch. Knowledge and caution make it safe.

Calm, Connection & Self-Love You can learn shibari as a technique: tying knots, following patterns, mastering motor skills. But there is something else, too. For many, shibari is much more than that. It is meditation. Mindfulness. A moment when everything around you falls away and only the moment, the rope, and your attention remain. This blog is about that other side. Shibari as a Meditative Practice Meditation doesn't have to mean sitting still on a mat. For many, true calm begins the moment you feel your body, consciously feel your breath, and your attention is completely in the here and now. Shibari can be that. When you move foot by foot, knot by knot, with full attention on how the rope feels, how it wraps around skin, how your partner or you yourself are reacting, something happens. Your thoughts about work, stress, what you need to do... they disappear. There is only this moment. The Moment of Escape We live in a world full of distractions. Pings, buzzes, messages. Shibari is one of those things where you aren't supposed to use your phone. You need two hands. Your attention is indivisible. That is valuable. For many people, shibari is the place where they can finally switch off. Not because something "has" to happen, but because the moment itself, the sensation, the focus, the attention for someone else or yourself, is enough. Connection: With Yourself and With Another Shibari can be solo: you feel your own body, your breath, your calm. But shibari can also be a moment of deep connection with someone else. Not merely physical, but also energetic. You are completely present for someone, feeling their body, their breath, their trust. And they feel your attention in return. That is intimate. And for many, much more intense than physical contact alone. It is about trust. Does your partner know you are careful, attentive, present? Then they can fully relax. And that feeling goes both ways. Breath & Relaxation When rope embraces your body, something happens with your nerves. Your breathing can become deeper. Your heart rate can slow down. This is the parasympathetic nervous system at work: the same system that helps you sleep. You feel safe. And in that safety, calm emerges. For people who live in their heads or carry a lot of tension in their bodies, this can mean a breakthrough. Shibari & Self-Love Shibari is also a way to embrace yourself. Literally. Feeling your body, being aware of your own preferences (what feels pleasant, what doesn't), taking yourself seriously. That is self-love. When you use shibari to get in touch with yourself, to feel, to listen to your body, you are giving yourself attention in a way that many of us do not. And that changes something. How Do You Start With This? If you already know how to tie (if not, see our blog on how to start), you can take the next step: Ensure space: No distractions, no rushing. Half an hour where you won't be interrupted. Set an intention: For yourself or with your partner: what do you want to feel today? Calm? Connection? "Setting an intention" is part of the meditation. Breathe: Before you begin, take a few deep breaths. This helps your body and mind let go of the chores. Tie carefully: Not quickly. Feel the rope. Feel your body. Look at your partner if you are together, look into their eyes. This is attention. Sit still: After tying: sit for a moment, feel, be. This is the highlight. Not "doing" something, but being with the moment. Untie carefully: Let go of the moment softly. Massage the places where the rope was. Take your time. Many Things At Once Here's the thing: shibari can be both technique and meditation. You can practice knots and meditate with rope on the same day. The one does not exclude the other. Start where you are. Some start with pure interest in knots. And gradually, they feel that deeper calm. Others seek meditative calm right away. Both are okay. More Questions? Would you like some deeper tips, or do you have questions about how to apply this? Slide into our DMs on Instagram or email us at info@lielei.nl. We are happy to help. #talkwithlielei FAQ — Meditative Shibari Do you have to be spiritual to experience shibari as meditation? No. This isn't about spiritual woo-woo. This is simply neuroscience, what happens in your body and brain when you are fully present. Anyone can feel that. Can I practice this solo, or do I need someone? Both. Solo shibari can be very meditative; you feel your own body. With a partner, it can be even more intense because of the connection. It depends on your preference. How long does it take before you feel that "meditative feeling"? That varies. Some feel it immediately; others need a few sessions. Expectation can work against it; focus on the moment itself, not on "should I be calm now." Can shibari really help with stress? Yes. Because it gets you out of your head and into your body. That is where stress is resolved. But shibari is no substitute for professional help in cases of severe stress or trauma. What if I can't feel the meditative part? That's okay. Not everyone experiences it the same way. Some find the calm in the movement itself, not in "being." That counts, too. Can this help with trauma or dissociation? This is delicate territory. For some, body awareness is very healing. For others, it can be triggering. If necessary, seek guidance from a therapist.

You are pregnant, your body is constantly changing, and the world around you suddenly feels very different. And yet, your sexuality doesn't have to be put on pause. On the contrary. Masturbation can be a valuable part of your self-care right now, both during and after your pregnancy. It’s not just about pleasure (though that is certainly a benefit), but about physical and emotional well-being during a time when your body and mind could use all the support they can get. The benefits of masturbation during pregnancy Stress and tension relief Pregnancy brings a lot with it: physical changes, hormonal fluctuations, emotional ups and downs, and a great deal of uncertainty. Masturbation is a natural, healthy way to reduce stress. When you touch yourself, your body releases endorphins; natural mood boosters that relax you and improve your state of mind. Improved blood flow and muscle relaxation During masturbation, more blood flows to your genitals. This not only enhances sensation but also helps release tension in the pelvic area. Many pregnant women experience stiffness in their lower back and pelvis, something for which masturbation can offer real relief. Better sleep Sleep becomes increasingly difficult as your pregnancy progresses. Masturbation can be a solution here. After an orgasm, your body feels relaxed and heavy; exactly what you need to fall asleep. A better night's sleep is not only nice for you, but also essential for your baby. Maintaining healthy sexuality Your body is changing, you may feel less sexy, and intimacy with a partner can feel more complicated than ever. But masturbation reminds you that you are a sexual being, and that you remain so. This contributes to a positive self-image, which is crucial for your mental health. Masturbation after giving birth: why it is important Supporting recovery and healing After birth, your body goes through an intensive healing process. Blood loss, hormonal fluctuations, possible wounds—everything can feel like too much. Yet, gentle self-pleasure can contribute to that healing process. The increased blood flow helps tissue repair, and the endorphins help with postnatal fatigue and the "baby blues." Emotional recovery The fourth trimester is intense, especially if you are struggling with postnatal depression or anxiety. Masturbation is a form of self-love that you can practice without leaving home, without much preparation, and entirely at your own pace. It can help you feel that you are still yourself, apart from motherhood. Rediscovering sexuality Many women feel disconnected from their sexuality after birth. Breastfeeding, fatigue, body changes—it sometimes feels as if your body is no longer your own. Masturbation is your space: only yours, on your terms, at your pace. Preventing sexual dysfunction Research shows that women who masturbate regularly after giving birth experience less sexual dysfunction. Your body and mind remain connected to what feels good, which is essential for intimacy later on. How do you do it safely and comfortably? Masturbation during and after pregnancy is safe for you and your baby, unless your doctor has explicitly advised against it. Here are some practical tips: Timing: Wait with penetration until the wound has completely healed (usually 6–8 weeks after birth). Gentle, external self-pleasure is safe sooner. Position: In early pregnancy, do whatever feels comfortable. Later in your pregnancy, you may need to change positions; try lying on your side or using extra pillows. Hygiene: Always ensure clean hands. After birth: rinse your genitals gently with lukewarm water; do not use douches or other products that may cause irritation. Toys: Gemstone toys (such as yoni eggs) can feel grounding and meditative. They help you make more conscious contact with your body. Or choose a massage vibrator, which you can use over your body. With that, you can discover other spots before massaging your vulva. Starting with a small vibrator can feel less overwhelming in any case. Always ensure that sex toys are clean and listen to what your body can handle. What about shame? Many women feel guilty or ashamed about masturbating at these times. That is understandable; we have been taught a lot about what is "proper" for a pregnant woman or a new mother. But here is the important thing: self-pleasure is not shameful. It is self-love. It is setting boundaries with yourself at the center. It is healthy. LieLei exists precisely to take that shame away. Your body, your pleasure, your sexuality—it all belongs to you. Pregnant, just given birth, mother, partner, woman—you are all these things at once, and you are still allowed to touch yourself. Frequently asked questions Question: Is it safe for my baby?Yes. Your baby is safe in your womb. Self-pleasure does not cause harm. The only exception: if your doctor has advised against it due to risks of premature contractions or other complications—then follow their advice. Question: Does masturbation cause contractions?In the early to mid-stage of pregnancy: no. In the final trimester, orgasms can cause mild contractions, but this does not trigger true labor unless your body is already ready. This can even help to get labor going. Question: How long should I wait after giving birth?This varies by woman. External self-pleasure can be safe sooner than penetration. Wait at least 6–8 weeks for penetration, and longer if you have had stitches, tears, or other recovery. Listen to your body. Question: Can I use toys?Yes. Ensure they are clean. The choice of material matters; silicone is hygienic and smooth. Avoid anything that feels sharp or rough. Question: Does this affect breastfeeding?No. Masturbation does not affect your milk supply or feeding. Just for yourself Pregnancy and motherhood are intense, transformative periods. Your body and mind change significantly. But you should never completely lose yourself in that process. Masturbation is one of the simplest, most powerful ways to stay connected to yourself; your body, your pleasure, your power. You deserve that moment of rest, pleasure, and self-love. Just for yourself.

5 ways to communicate in bed, without words "Just say what you like." Easier said than done. For many people, talking during sex feels awkward, stiff, or just... not the right moment. And that is perfectly okay. After all, communication doesn't always have to involve words. Your body is talking the whole time. The question is just whether you are letting it participate consciously. Here are five ways to make exactly what does and does not work clear, without saying a word. 1. Sound: moaning is feedback, not a side note A moan isn't just a sound; it's information. Responding louder and more often to what is working gives your partner a clear signal: this is it, keep doing this. Silence when something is less enjoyable works just as well in reverse. 2. Guide your partner with your hand Do you want a specific spot, pressure, or tempo? Simply place your partner's hand there, at the speed you find pleasant. No explanation is needed; just letting them feel what you mean is often clearer than searching for words. 3. Move along Pushing your hips toward a touch that feels good is one of the most direct signals there is. Your body is actually telling the story by itself. The art is to really let that story speak, instead of lying still. 4. Breathing Breathing faster and deeper with something that works is a signal that every body recognizes intuitively, even without you thinking about it. It is one of the most natural forms of communication that exists, and you don't have to "do" anything for it; it happens automatically as soon as you allow it. 5. Eye contact Looking at each other at the right moment says more than a whole sentence: stay here, this is it. Eye contact is subtle, but your partner almost always feels the difference immediately. Why non-verbal communication works Non-verbal signals take the pressure off. You don't have to find the right words in the middle of the moment, and your partner doesn't have to wait for an instruction to know if he, she, or they are on the right track. Moreover, it works both ways: the more you let your own body "talk," the easier it often becomes to simply add words to it at another time. The latter is the key. Non-verbal communication is not an endpoint; it is a stepping stone. Once you are used to giving signals, you usually find it less daunting to speak that same message out loud. What if you give signals, but nothing changes? Then that is the moment to put it into words, with a simple and positive sentence. Think of: - "That feels really good, stay there."- "A bit softer feels even better."- "Come here, let me show you." Being positive and concrete always works better than criticism. You are adjusting, rather than criticizing what was already happening. Getting to know your own body better also helps The better you know what you like, the easier it becomes to convey that (with or without words). Taking time for yourself, for example with a yoni egg to become more aware of your pelvic floor, or a vibrator like the Pawny to discover which touch works for you, is one of the easiest ways to build that knowledge. What you learn alone, you can then share together. Frequently asked questions about communicating in bed Why is talking during sex difficult for many people? Often out of insecurity, fear of ruining the mood, or simply because it feels awkward. Non-verbal signals are an accessible first step in that case. Is body language just as effective as talking? For many signals, yes. Sound, movement, breathing, and eye contact are often understood intuitively. For specific requests (like a certain spot or tempo), a combination of body language and a short, positive sentence is most effective. How do I start if I've never done this before? Start small: respond slightly more clearly with sound or movement to what already feels good. That is not a big step, but one that has an immediate effect. You don't have to have an elaborate conversation to have better sex. Sometimes a moan, a movement, or a look is enough to let your partner know exactly where you want to go.

You’re lying there, it’s all taking just a little too long, you realize your mind hasn’t been on the sex for a while, and then it happens: that convincing moan, that familiar little shudder, "yes, right there, oh my god." Faker alert. You did it. And you’re not alone; many others do it too. But here is the uncomfortable truth: faking doesn't solve anything. It can actually make your sex life worse. And here is why. 1. You deprive yourself of pleasure Every time you fake it, you send a clear signal to your body and your partner: this is enough, we’re stopping here. Even though you weren’t actually ready. Literally. You are missing out on an orgasm; the kind of relaxation, connection, and pure fun that your body deserves, because it just seemed easier to pretend. In the long run, you train yourself to believe that sex should stop before you reach your peak. That isn't a minor loss. That is denying yourself what is yours, time and time again. 2. You deprive your partner of pleasure Yes, your partner doesn't benefit from it either. Most people enjoy giving pleasure just as much as receiving it. If you fake it, you are stealing that experience from them. They think they’ve given you something wonderful, when in fact (not yet) they hadn't. Intimacy is about honesty. Faking draws a thick line through that, even if the intention is often well-meaning ("I don't want to disappoint him/her"). 3. You don't make any progress This is perhaps the biggest pitfall: your partner thinks whatever they are doing is working. So they keep on… doing it. Over and over. While you know in the meantime that it’s just not the right spot, pressure, or rhythm. Faking freezes the sex you have at its current level. There is no growth, no learning, no improvement. Because why would someone change something they think is already working perfectly? 4. It builds a pattern of distance Faking once is rarely the problem. The problem is when it becomes a habit. And habits in the bedroom are stubborn. Before you know it, you’re not faking once by accident, but as a standard practice, and an invisible wall begins to form between you and your partner that gets a little thicker every time. 5. Sex becomes a performance instead of an experience Faking fuels the idea that sex has a goal that must be "achieved," rather than an experience you share together. That performance pressure is counterproductive: the more you focus on playing a role, the less space there is to actually feel what is happening. And let’s be honest: reaching climax on command is difficult enough for most of us without that extra pressure. 6. You don't get to know your own body If you constantly fake it, you skip a crucial step: figuring out what you actually need. What touch, what pace, what pressure, what spot. Without that knowledge, you remain dependent on luck instead of insight—and that insight is exactly what you need to reach climax more often (and more easily), together or alone. So what can you do instead? The real solution is less exciting than faking, but much more effective: talk. During sex, or afterwards in bed, perhaps over a cup of tea. A few tips to get started: Say what does work. "That feels really good" is just as valuable as constructive feedback. Gently guide them. "A bit softer" or "a little more to the left" isn't a mood killer, it's a gift. Get to know yourself first. Taking time for yourself, for example with a yoni egg to become more aware of your pelvic floor and arousal, or a vibrator like Pawny to discover what works for you. That makes it a lot easier to share that with a partner later. Normalize that it doesn't always happen. Not every time needs to end in an orgasm to be good sex. Taking that pressure away actually makes reaching climax more likely at other times. You can find many more tips here about communication during sex. Stop faking Faking might feel like the easiest path in the moment. But in the long run, it costs you the very pleasure that it’s all about. Honesty — in the bedroom and beyond — always takes you further than a well-acted moan. Frequently asked questions about faking an orgasm Why do women fake orgasms more often than men? Often out of insecurity, time pressure, or to avoid disappointing their partner. Research shows that the majority of women have faked it at some point. Usually, it's to make the sex end sooner, not to please the other person. Additionally, the orgasm gap also plays a role. Is faking it occasionally a big deal? Doing it once won't ruin your relationship. But if it becomes a habit, it fools your partner about what works, and fools yourself about what you actually need. How do I stop faking without it being awkward? Start small: provide simple, positive guidance in the moment ("that feels good," "a bit higher"). That feels less confrontational than a major conversation and often works just as well. Does self-exploration (masturbation) help to fake less? Definitely. The better you know your own body, the easier it is to explain (or show) what works, instead of just making something up in the moment.

You buy a vibrator. It arrives in a neutral box, discreetly packaged. And yet, when you open the door for the delivery person, you feel a wave of... what exactly? Guilt? Embarrassment? The feeling that you are doing something wrong, when in reality you have just bought something nice for yourself. If you recognize that, you are in good company. Shame surrounding sex, and certainly surrounding sex toys, runs deep. But where does it come from? And more importantly: what do you do about it? It’s in our language Start at the beginning: the words we use. In Dutch, we have 'schaamstreek' (pubic area), 'schaamlip' (labia), 'schaamhaar' (pubic hair). The word 'schaamte' (shame) is literally woven into them. That is no coincidence: it is a cultural legacy that tells us how we have thought about our bodies for generations. That language has consequences. Research shows that one-third of young women are afraid to go to the gynecologist if they have complaints, simply out of shame. Two-thirds barely dare to say the words 'vagina' or 'vulva' out loud. If you already have trouble saying the word, how big is the step to buying a sex toy? Upbringing, religion, and culture: a triple restraint For many people, there are three major sources of sexual shame: upbringing, religion, and culture. At home, you might have been told that sex is for 'later' or 'for marriage'. At school, you learned the biology, but not the pleasure. And in many religious upbringings, sexuality is something you manage, not something you celebrate. On top of that comes the culture in which you grew up. Someone with a conservative background, whether religious, cultural, or geographical, experiences a very different norm than someone who grew up in a 'freer' household. What we notice at LieLei: people we know well, who are definitely not prudish, prefer not to order from us. Because they are afraid that we will see what they are buying. Even though: we started a webshop with sex toys. So, who are we to judge?! And then there is porn culture On the other side of the spectrum is porn culture, which creates a very different kind of shame. Porn has normalized sex for many people, but a very specific version of sex. A version that is not realistic for most people, not healthy, and has little to do with real intimacy. That creates a mixed message: sex is everywhere (in series, advertisements, social media), but your own real sexuality, with your own body, your own desires, your own toys, that you have to hide. Women versus men: two very different stories Shame also works differently by gender. For women, sex toys have increasingly been framed as empowerment in recent years: self-knowledge, pleasure, independence. And it works: 69% of Dutch women now own a sex toy. That is a huge shift. For men, it is different. A sex toy for a man quickly raises questions about masculinity or sexuality. And anal toys for heterosexual men? That is still one of the biggest taboos. It is immediately associated with sexual orientation, while there is no connection whatsoever. That inequality is ironic: female pleasure is increasingly celebrated, but male sexual self-exploration remains surrounded by shame. That helps no one.   Shame is learned. And that is good news! The beautiful (and hopeful) thing about shame is this: it is learned. You weren't born with it. That also means you can unlearn it. Not in one day, not by forcing yourself, but by becoming curious about yourself and what you like, step by step. Start small. Talk to a friend. Visit a webshop like lielei.nl without the pressure to buy something, just to discover what exists. Read articles (well done!). Every small step is a way to rewrite that old story.   Because you deserve a sex life without shame. Period. Want to know more about shame and taboos surrounding sex toys and intimacy? Listen to the Make Love Work podcast.

Normal, healthy and good for you both. Yes, really, masturbating while you are in a relationship can boost your sex life. More on that later. But first: there is a persistent idea that masturbation is something for when you are alone. That, once you are in a relationship, you shouldn't have any need for solo sex anymore. And that if you do it anyway, there is apparently something wrong. With you, with your partner, or with your relationship. And that is simply not true. Why masturbation is good for you Masturbation has demonstrable benefits for your physical and mental health. Not as an alternative to sex with a partner, but just on its own. Immune system - An orgasm stimulates the production of white blood cells. Good news for your resistance. Stress reduction - An orgasm releases endorphins that reduce stress and tension. Better sleep - The relaxation after an orgasm helps you fall asleep faster. Better mood - The dopamine and oxytocin that are released contribute to a positive feeling. Why solo sex is okay, even when you have a partner Sex with a partner is wonderful (if things are going well), but it also demands something of you. You are together in the moment, there is foreplay, you have to consider someone else. That is beautiful, but it also takes energy. Sometimes you need something that demands less from you. No coordination, no expectations, just yourself. And that is exactly what solo sex offers. It is more accessible, faster, and completely at your own pace. That has nothing to do with whether you find your partner attractive, whether your relationship is good, or whether you want to have sex together enough. They are simply two different things, each with their own place. Myths to let go of 1. "If you masturbate, you aren't satisfied with your partner." Solo sex and sex with a partner are separate things. Most people who masturbate regularly also have a satisfying sex life with their partner. The one does not exclude the other. 2. "Masturbation is for when you're on your own." Masturbation is normal in every stage of life and in every relationship situation. Whether you are single, in a committed relationship, or married for years, solo sex is simply part of it. 3. "Toys are only necessary if the sex isn't good." A vibrator or other toy is not a last resort. It is a way to discover more about what you like, and you can bring that knowledge to sex with your partner. Solo sex makes you a better (bed) partner The better you know what you like, the easier it is to communicate that to your partner. Masturbation is a form of self-knowledge. And self-knowledge makes you more conscious, more confident, and more open in bed. Many people discover through solo sex what they truly enjoy, separate from the expectations of someone else. They bring those discoveries to sex with their partner. That leads to better communication, and often better sex together too. Discover the best solo toys Curious which toys work well for solo sex? We have listed the very best solo sex toys for you. And you can use most of them together as well. Have fun!

Playing without shame: Lieke guest on Make Love Work About myths, masculinity, and why one experience seems enough to write something off forever. There are topics everyone has an opinion on, but which are rarely spoken aloud. Our co-founder Lieke joined the Make Love Work podcast for a conversation without a filter. No marketing talk about products. Just an honest conversation about the stories we tell ourselves and each other about sexuality, playfulness, and shame. Why does it feel like competition to some men, when it's not at all? Why do we pretend this is mainly for women? And why is one bad experience sometimes enough to write something off forever? Dwight and Lieke also discussed how curiosity and shame can get in each other's way, how you can get older without playfulness disappearing, and which myths surrounding sexuality turn out to be surprisingly persistent. Listen to the episode if you’re in the mood for a conversation that makes you look at things just a little differently. No filter, but plenty of perspective. Sign up and win Sign up for our newsletter via fun.lielei.nl/makelovework and get a chance to win an erotic item from LieLei for three months. Every month, we will draw one winner from all entries. The promotion runs from May through July 2026.  

Your body and your mind don't always work together. And that's perfectly normal. In this blog, we explain what getting wet actually is, why it's not the same as being aroused, and why natural lubricant is for everyone; not just for those "who can't get it up."

You already own a vibrator. And now you want something new, or something to complement it. But how do you choose what really suits you? We’ll help you choose. First: what do you want to feel? Before you choose, it’s helpful to know what you’re looking for. Do you want more of the same, but better? Or are you curious about a different type of stimulation? That question determines everything. What is the difference between the types? What is the difference between a clitoral vibrator and a G-spot vibrator? Here it is simply explained:  Clitoral vibrator: stimulates the clitoris from the outside. Often compact, easy to use, including with a partner. Stimulation can be via vibrations or air pressure (we explain the difference between these at the bottom of this page). G-spot vibrator: curved, for internal use. Aimed at the G-spot; that’s a sensitive spot at the front of the vagina. Rabbit vibrator and duo stimulation vibrator: combines both: internal and external simultaneously. Our honest advice per situation You already have a clitoral vibrator Then a G-spot vibrator is a logical next step. You will explore a completely different type of stimulation, internally instead of externally. → View G-spot vibrators You already have a G-spot vibrator Try an air-pressure clitoral vibrator. No vibrations, but gentle suction; many women describe this as a totally new sensation.  Do you prefer vibrations? There is plenty of choice there, too. You can also use your G-spot vibrator (if it vibrates) to stimulate your clitoris. However, these can sometimes be a bit awkward to hold. A finger vibrator or massage vibrator is ideal for this. → View all clitoral vibrators at LieLei You want to get the most out of one vibrator Internal and external stimulation at the same time. Does that sound like too much? Then a duo stimulation vibrator is for you, because you can use both sides independently, making the intensity easier to control. Does it sound like music to your ears? Then a rabbit vibrator is really something for you. Vibrations or air pressure: what is the difference? You’ve surely heard of air-pressure vibrators before. But what makes them different from a 'regular' vibrator? The difference is in how they stimulate — and that feels very different. Vibrations: direct contact A classic vibrator touches the clitoris and vibrates. Those vibrations pass through the skin and stimulate the nerves directly. You can vary in speed and pattern. Many women love this direct, controllable stimulation: you know exactly what you’re getting. Air pressure: without contact An air-pressure vibrator does not touch the clitoris. Instead, you place it around it, after which it uses gentle pulsing waves of air. This stimulates the clitoris contact-free: from all sides simultaneously. Many people describe this as a fuller, deeper sensation that leads to orgasm more quickly. In short Vibrations = direct contact, vibrating, easy to dose.  Air pressure = contact-free, suction, fuller feeling. Which one is better? That is personal. Do you already have a vibration-based vibrator? Then an air-pressure vibrator is a particularly interesting addition: it really feels different. The same applies in reverse. Why LieLei? At LieLei, we consciously choose a small, high-quality assortment. No endless scrolling marathons, just products that are good. All vibrators are made of body-safe material, free from phthalates, and sustainably sourced. Discreetly packaged, delivered quickly. Still having doubts? Just send us a message (info@lielei.nl). We’d be happy to think along with you, without judgment, without a sales pitch. Pure, honest advice.

You’re curious. Or you’ve been doubting for a while. Or someone secretly sent you a link and now you’re here together (or alone, for that matter). Either way: great plan. Because sex toys for couples can really add something—not because anything is missing, but simply because pleasure is more fun when you share it. But then again: where do you start? There is so much choice, and not everything is equally clear. We simply explain honestly which types there are, what suits whom, and why material matters more than you think. The result: the best choice for you and lots of fun... What are the best sex toys for couples? There is no universal "best sex toy"; it depends on what you like, how familiar you are with toys, and what you would like to experience together. But there are a few popular categories: 1. Vibrating cock ring The cock ring ensures that the penis remains erect for longer, and the vibrating part stimulates the clitoris. This vibrator is suitable for penetration. Suitable for: sex where at least one person has a penis and one has a vulva 2. Double-sided vibrator This vibrator can be used on both sides for penetration. Very suitable for two women. Suitable for: sex where at least two people possess a vulva 3. Massage vibrator This vibrator is suitable for your whole body. You can use it to give or receive massages. Suitable for: anyone with a body 4. Vibrator with remote control One of you wears it, the other is in control. Via a remote, you can control the intensity and the pattern. Perfect for at home or for an exciting evening out. Suitable for: sex where at least one person possesses a vulva, unless you have chosen the butt plug with remote control (which is suitable for everyone). 5. Butt plugs Speaking of butt plugs: they come in all shapes and sizes. Large butt plugs, small butt plugs, glass butt plugs, vibrating butt plugs (with or without remote control); there is something for everyone. Using a butt plug generally requires a bit more preparation than the aforementioned toys. Do you want to start with anal sex? Then first read tips for starting with anal sex. Suitable for: anyone with an anus 6. Finger vibrator Our favorite! A finger vibrator is a small vibrator that you slide onto your finger like a ring. As a result, the distance between your hand and the skin of your partner(s) feels small. But it has a big effect, as this vibrating vibrator can help you reach great heights when you touch the right spot with it. Suitable for: anyone with sensitive spots on their body. The finger vibrator is not only suitable for stimulating the clitoris, but also the anus and the perineum (that is the skin between the scrotum and the anus). 7. Double-sided air-pulse vibrator Most people know the air-pulse technology from the Satisfyer. The double-sided air-pulse vibrator has this too, only it also has a vibrating side. And you can use both sides at the same time. Suitable for: sex where at least one person has a vulva Toys to share Most sex toys are suitable for couples to use together. It just depends on how creative you are. However, some sex toys are simply more convenient to use when there are two (or more) of you. View all types of couple vibrators. Do you want to try something in bed other than the classic sex toys? Then think about: Bondage & Shibari Bondage or shibari (Japanese rope binding) might sound intense, but it can actually be very sensual and calm. Or make it kinky and exciting. Whatever you feel comfortable with. We have a complete Shibari & bondage collection made of sustainable hemp, jute, and/or cotton. Do you want to start with Shibari? Here you will find the starter guide with bondage tips. Massage oil & gels Do you find rope or a device a bit intimidating? Sometimes the fun starts before the sex. Massage oil is accessible, relaxing, and a lovely way to start together. Or try a stimulating gel. All of our massage oils and gels are made from natural ingredients. How do we begin? Tips for couples who are new to sex toys Start by talking. Sounds boring, but it isn’t. Simply scrolling through a webshop together (hello!), indicating what you find attractive and what you definitely don’t, already gives a lot of direction. Our tips for a good start: Start with something accessible: massage oil, a small vibrator, or a simple bondage set. Choose a toy that adds something for both of you, not just for one person. Read the description: a good toy has clear explanations about use and material. Set expectations to zero. It’s about experimenting, not performing. Frequently asked questions about sex toys for couples Can I use a vibrator during sex? Yes, absolutely! Using a vibrator can add an extra dimension to your sex life. Just be sure that your partner is also on board. Or start with the agreement that you are just going to try it, and if someone doesn't enjoy it, you try something else or stop. Although we consider the chance that you'll "stop" small... Is lubricant necessary with sex toys? Almost always recommended, yes. With silicone toys, always use natural lubricant. Other lubricants can damage the material. Our natural lubricants are specially selected for safety—for you and your toys. How do I clean a sex toy? Use a special toy cleaner. Then you can be sure that your toys are hygienically cleaned with a cleanser that is also skin-friendly and (especially for anyone with a vulva) does not disrupt your pH balance. What if my partner is hesitant? No pressure. Let the idea sink in. Sometimes it helps to browse together instead of buying immediately. Or start with something neutral like massage oil—no "sex toy" label, just a really lovely time together. Are your products packaged discreetly? Always. No logos on the box, neutral sender. What you buy stays between you. Which material is safe? And why does it matter? This is perhaps the most underestimated part of buying sex toys. Not every material is equally safe: some cheap toys contain phthalates or other toxic substances that can irritate your body. At LieLei, we only sell toys made of: 100% medicinal silicone (hygienic, skin-friendly, easy to clean) Glass (sustainable, temperature-sensitive, safe) Hemp and jute (for bondage / shibari) Vegan leather (think handcuffs, whips, and other BDSM items) No plastic, no phthalates, no toxic substances. That sounds logical, but it isn't always the case at other webshops. Ready to begin? Sex toys for couples don't have to be complicated. Find something that appeals to both of you, pay attention to the material, and don't forget that it should just be fun. View our full collection of sex toys for couples: safe, sustainable, and delivered discreetly.

Men don't always feel like having sex, and that's more normal than you think. For men, women and couples who want to understand why sexual desire fluctuates, and what that says (and especially doesn't say) about you and/or your relationship.

Role playing can add some spice to your relationship. But it can be nerve-wracking to get started. How do you suggest the idea to your partner? What if you don't like it after all? How do you actually begin? We have listed a few tips for you. What actually is role playing? Role playing involves taking on a different role or persona within an intimate setting. Think of the classic "strangers in a bar," but also playful scenarios like: The strict (or conversely, clumsy) teacher The mysterious stranger traveling Two people who "accidentally" meet each other It is not about acting skills, but about fantasy, playfulness, and momentarily breaking free from the everyday. Why can role playing be good for your relationship? Are you in a (long-term) relationship? Then it is sometimes good to consciously step out of your set dynamic and explore a different interaction by adopting a different setting, attitude, or identity. It can break the routine, breathe new life into or enrich your sex life, and: Help break fixed patterns Stimulate curiosity and creativity Open up the conversation about desires and boundaries Provide more playfulness and connection How do you start with role playing? Good news: you don't have to memorize a script. Start small: Choose a simple scenario: who, what, and where is enough. Keep it close to yourself. Agree on boundaries; choose a safe word for peace of mind. Agree that laughter is always allowed. See it as an experiment, not a performance You can even start with just a different setting or tone, without going fully "in character." How do you ask your partner about this? This is often the most nerve-wracking part. Keep it light and close to yourself. A few examples: “I came across something about role playing and I was curious to know what you think about it.” “I notice that I enjoy exploring new things together, how do you feel about that?” Important: no is also okay. Enthusiasm only works if it comes from both sides. Play more Role playing is not a must and not a solution for everything. It is one of many ways in which partners can experiment with intimacy, fantasy, and communication. Above all, it requires mutual respect, curiosity, and safety. Not really into role playing, but still want to experiment with your partner? Seek connection through meaningful conversations. Experiment with surrender and dominance with Shibari; the Japanese art of bondage. Try a new toy together.

Valentine's Day for singles: how to turn it into a loving day for yourself Valentine's Day. For some, a day full of roses, a romantic dinner, gifts, or perhaps even (anonymous) declarations of love. But what if you're single on Valentine's Day? Then this day seems to be about everyone except you. Let's turn that thought around. Valentine's Day is about love – and there is nothing as important as a healthy dose of self-love. So, this one is actually about you. That's why we have some tips to spoil yourself extra on Valentine's Day. Have fun! 1. Take yourself on a date Do you love going out to dinner, but only do it when someone else comes along? Why, actually? Put on something that makes you feel fantastic and book a table for one. Still too nerve-wracking? Turn your home into a mini-restaurant: light some candles, prepare your favorite dish, and have zero obligation to talk if you don't feel like it. Tip: Just like during a dinner for two, put your phone away. 2. Dress up Dress to impress! Yourself, at least. Often, when you put on something nice, you start to feel better because of it. So go on, get out of those sweatpants and put on something you feel good in. Is that sexy lingerie? Go for it! Is that a 3-piece suit? Yes, yes, yes! Tip: Don't forget to admire yourself in the mirror. 3. Give yourself a Valentine's gift It might not be a surprise if you buy something for yourself, but it’s still fun. Treat yourself to something you’ve always wanted. Or a typical Valentine's gift like chocolate, flowers, a scented candle... or something that helps you get more in touch with your own body and pleasure. In the single toys collection from LieLei, you'll find toys especially made for pleasure with yourself. Because what is a better gift on Valentine's Day than giving yourself an orgasm? 4. Consciously take time for yourself Valentine's Day doesn't have to be big or busy. Make it a pamper day: Take a warm bath or a long shower Use a face mask Write down what you are grateful for Meditate or listen to a nice podcast Do whatever you feel like, be kind to yourself, and above all, take it easy. 5. Self-love also means sex with yourself Let's be honest: masturbation is one of the most direct forms of self-love. And yet, it's often forgotten or considered awkward. We think that's nonsense, of course. Because why should romance only be something you share with someone else? Discover what you enjoy, without haste, without expectations. With your hands, your imagination, or a toy that helps you truly relax and enjoy. Solo sex is: healthy stress-relieving empowering and entirely yours A vibrator can be a great addition to this – not as a replacement for a partner, but as an extension of your own pleasure. 6. Change the narrative: single ≠ lonely Sometimes it seems like having a partner is the norm, which makes being single seem like being incomplete or something else negative. That is absolutely not the case. Being single does not mean you are lacking anything. It means you have space. For yourself. For growth. For pleasure. So, enjoy yourself. Even if you do have a partner ;-). Be your own Valentine Whether you go out to dinner, pamper yourself, discover a toy, or just do nothing at all: Valentine's Day is what you make of it. You are worth celebrating – today and every day.

You might think of a specific spot on your body right away when you read the words 'erogenous zones.' And your thought about that spot will be a positive one... Nothing coming to mind? Then read on to discover what erogenous zones are and how to discover them (with pleasure). What are erogenous zones? Erogenous zones might sound like something from a biology lesson, but they are actually just spots on your body that are slightly more sensitive than the rest. Your body reacts to touch, warmth, breath, or light pressure in these areas. This can be pleasant, arousing, or simply very relaxing. And no: it’s not just about sex. Sometimes it’s primarily about attention and connection. Everyone has them—but not everyone has them in the same places. Where are erogenous zones located? Many people immediately think of the genitals when they hear 'erogenous zones,' but the body has many more. You might already know these spots (or they might be worth touching lovingly): Neck and throat Ears Lips and mouth Chest and nipples Abdomen and lower back Inner thighs Hands and wrists Feet and toes In addition, there are other spots, such as the scalp, knees, or even the crook of the elbow. It is different for everyone what counts as an erogenous zone and what does not. Does everyone have the same number of erogenous zones? Nope. One person seems to be one big erogenous zone, while another might only be able to point out a few. How many you have depends on your body, your experiences, your mood, and above all: how relaxed you are. Because stress is a real mood-killer. A quick summary of what influences your special spots: Biology – how sensitive your nervous system is Experience – touches you have learned to find pleasant Context and trust – who is touching you and in what setting Mental state – stress or relaxation influences what you feel Is it useful to know what your erogenous zones are? You can certainly call it useful to know what you like. If you know your own erogenous zones, you can play with them consciously: during foreplay with a partner or to pamper yourself. Knowing what works makes everything more relaxed and fun. Tips for stimulating erogenous zones Want to go on a voyage of discovery? A few simple, accessible tips: Start slowlyLess is often more. Soft touches, light pressure, or even just being near one another can be enough. Use varietyAlternate between warm/cold, soft/a bit firmer, hand/lips. Surprise makes you more sensitive. Play with tempoDon’t move to the next spot immediately. Linger for a while. That build-up makes a big difference. Communicate (yes, really)A simple “do you like this?” or “that feels good” makes everything more relaxed and enjoyable. Listen to your bodyBreathing, goosebumps, relaxation—these are all signals. You don’t have to force anything. Remember: no performanceThere is no right or wrong. What feels good today might feel different tomorrow. Can your erogenous zones change? They certainly can. Through new experiences, more self-knowledge, or simply because your life changes. So keep on exploring.

At first glance, it might seem that sports and sex have little in common (other than the sweating during both), but they share a surprising number of similarities. Sex and sports are good for your body and your mind During both sports and sex, your body produces substances such as endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin.These hormones: reduce stress create a feeling of happiness promote relaxation boost your self-confidence After a sporting activity or a pleasant intimate moment, you often feel calmer, happier, and more balanced. You use the same muscle groups When exercising, you train your core, legs, and arms — but also your pelvic floor muscles.Those same muscles play an important role in: sexual sensitivity more intense orgasms greater control and relaxation Strong, conscious muscles lead to more pleasure, both on the field and off. Rhythm, timing, and focus are essential Whether you are playing a rally or surrendering to pleasure: it is all about rhythm timing and being present in the moment The better you feel what your body is doing, the more enjoyable the experience becomes. Practice makes it more fun In sports, everyone knows: the more you play, the better you get.The same applies equally to sex and self-pleasure: you learn what you enjoy you become more confident you dare to enjoy yourself more It is not a performance, but a journey of discovery. It is a form of self-care We don't just exercise to stay fit, but also to: take time for ourselves release tension feel good in our bodies Sex and masturbation are also forms of self-care: moments when you give attention to yourself, relax, and enjoy — without any guilt. Let's move! Both sports and sex are about energy, connection with your body, and pleasure.They are not opposites, but rather allies in a healthy, powerful, and relaxed life.