Tips & tricks

where to start (and where not to, just yet) First, a secret that most lists won't tell you: shibari is barely about knots. A tie stays in place primarily through wraps and frictions, the points where rope clamps against rope. Knots are used sparingly, and the most important requirement is that they cannot tighten. Remember that, and you are already further ahead than most beginners. In this blog, you will read about the five ties you will encounter first, what they do, and who they are suitable for. To truly learn them, you need visuals. That is why we refer to videos and workshops when practicing. Before you begin: 5 points of safety Safety shears within reach. Not regular scissors, but blunt-tip shears, which allow you to quickly cut rope without touching skin. Know the sensitive areas. The upper arm (especially the outer side) and the wrist have nerves that lie just below the skin. Pressure there can cause nerve damage within minutes. Stop at these signs: tingling, numbness, a cold or discolored hand or foot, or a wrist that cannot extend properly. Do not "finish up first," but release immediately. Agree in advance: what is and is not okay, and establish a safeword or signal. Maintain contact while tying and ask regularly how it feels. Never leave someone who is tied up alone. Not even "for a second." 1. Single column tie: the foundation of everything With this tie, you secure one body part, such as a wrist or ankle. Almost every other tie begins with this, so learn this first. What it is about: you fold the rope in half, wrap it twice around the wrist, and secure it with a knot that cannot close, such as a Somerville bowline. A regular double knot is actually unsafe here: if the rope is pulled, the wraps will tighten. Check: you should be able to slide two fingers between the rope and the skin. Suitable for beginners: yes. This is your starting point. See how the rope runs: video by Crash Restraint 2. Double column tie: two wrists or ankles together The same concept as the single column, but for two body parts next to each other. After the wraps, you pass the rope through between the wrists or ankles one or two times, around the wraps. That cinch ensures the tie cannot tighten. Suitable for beginners: yes, as soon as the single column is solid. See how the rope runs: video by Kinetik Speicher 3. Chest harness: your first real structure A chest harness with rope lines above and below the breasts, secured over the shoulders. It immediately looks like shibari and is the basis for many subsequent ties. Note: the harness must not restrict breathing. Have your partner take a deep breath while you tie. If that isn't possible, it's too tight. Suitable for beginners: yes, as a second or third step. See how the rope runs: video by Crash Restraint 4. Futomomo: the bent leg This involves tying a leg in a bent position, thigh against calf. A nice tie to practice with because fewer vulnerable nerves are involved compared to the arms. Note: not everyone can comfortably bend their knee fully. Keep the tie short initially, a few minutes, and watch the circulation of the foot. Suitable for beginners: yes. See how the rope runs: video by MaillerPhong 5. Takate kote: beautiful, but not for now The takate kote ties the arms behind the back with rope lines around the upper arms. It is perhaps the classic of Japanese bondage, and because of that, it appears on almost every beginners' list. We intentionally do not do that: the rope lines run exactly over the nerve on the outside of the upper arm. Nerve damage from a takate kote occurs regularly, even with experienced binders. Our advice: save this tie until you have mastered the basics, and learn it from someone standing next to you, for example in a workshop. We recommend the workshops of KiNKhearted. What rope do you need? For beginners, softer rope works best. It provides enough grip but isn't so tight that you can't get it undone. Start with a 5-meter rope, as this is easier to manage. Our LieLei Bondage Rope is 5 or 10 meters long, [thickness] mm thick, and made of cotton, hemp, and/or jute. You don't need to treat the ropes anymore, so they are ready to use immediately. Furthermore, they are soft, which is ideal for beginners and kind to the skin. Check out the entire shibari collection. How to practice smart Practice the single column first on your own leg or a chair leg, until you can tie it without thinking. Use videos to see how the rope runs. Text alone is not enough. Want to learn faster and safer? Take a workshop. Someone watching you will immediately see what you are missing. FAQ: frequently asked questions about shibari knots Which rope is best for beginners?Natural rope made of cotton, jute, or hemp about 6 mm thick. It grips better than synthetic rope, so your ties will stay in place better. Is shibari safe?It can be safe if you know where the risks are. Use knots that cannot tighten, avoid pressure on the upper arm and wrist, keep safety shears on hand, and release immediately if there is tingling or numbness. Can I practice shibari on myself?Yes, you can perfectly practice tying the single column and double column on your own leg. For harnesses and arm ties, you need someone else, and those are best learned under supervision. Which shibari knot should I learn first?The single column tie. Almost every other tie builds upon this. Are you ready to surrender to the meditative power of Shibari? Let the fun begin! 💙

The Practical Guide for Beginners You’ve just been introduced to shibari and you’re fascinated. Now you want to get started yourself: tying knots, feeling how it works, and learning from what works and what doesn't. Great plan. Here are five practical tips for your first practice sessions at home. 1. Choose the Right Rope Not all rope is the same. For shibari, the rule is: natural hemp or jute. This rope has grip and gives you a real feel for the knots you are tying. Nylon might seem tempting, but it hurts the skin and can cause rope burn or other painful areas. Tip: New jute rope can be a bit stiff. Soaping it gently and letting it dry helps. 2. Have a Shibari Shear Ready This is not optional: it is essential. A shibari shear (or standard scissors with short blades) must always be within reach. Not because everything will go wrong, but because you need to be able to release quickly in case of panic, pain, or tingling. Make sure you and your partner know where the shears are located. 3. Check In, Check In, Check In You are learning. This means you must regularly feel and ask: Are hands and fingers still warm and pink? Any tingling or numbness? How does it feel? Too tight? Okay? Feedback from your partner (yourself or someone else) is worth its weight in gold. Those are your best lessons. 4. Not Hours in the Rope Don't tie for too long (definitely not for hours) and ensure that you untie everything after practicing. Your body will tell you what it needs; listen to it. 5. Set Ground Rules in Advance Are you going to practice together? Great. But make sure you both know the plan. Anyone acting as a "partner" wants to know that is the goal—no surprises. Clarity makes everything easier. More Than Just Tying Knots? Shibari is more than technique — it can also be meditative, a moment of peace and connection. If you want to take it beyond the practice phase and explore that deeper side, we have more tips for you here. Read: The Meditative Side of Shibari FAQ — Practicing Shibari at Home How long does it take before I can tie a knot? That depends on practice and patience. Some grasp it in a few sessions, others take more time. Enjoy the learning process. What if my partner feels pain? Stop. Untie the rope. Talk about it. Maybe it was too tight, maybe your angle was wrong. Better luck next time. Can I practice alone? Yes, definitely. You can practice on yourself or on a mannequin / pillow. This gives you room to experiment without pressure. How much rope do I need? For a basic section, you need about 5-8 meters. You can always buy more to try out different lengths. Is shibari safe? Yes — if you are careful, check in, and don't pinch. Knowledge and caution make it safe.

Calm, Connection & Self-Love You can learn shibari as a technique: tying knots, following patterns, mastering motor skills. But there is something else, too. For many, shibari is much more than that. It is meditation. Mindfulness. A moment when everything around you falls away and only the moment, the rope, and your attention remain. This blog is about that other side. Shibari as a Meditative Practice Meditation doesn't have to mean sitting still on a mat. For many, true calm begins the moment you feel your body, consciously feel your breath, and your attention is completely in the here and now. Shibari can be that. When you move foot by foot, knot by knot, with full attention on how the rope feels, how it wraps around skin, how your partner or you yourself are reacting, something happens. Your thoughts about work, stress, what you need to do... they disappear. There is only this moment. The Moment of Escape We live in a world full of distractions. Pings, buzzes, messages. Shibari is one of those things where you aren't supposed to use your phone. You need two hands. Your attention is indivisible. That is valuable. For many people, shibari is the place where they can finally switch off. Not because something "has" to happen, but because the moment itself, the sensation, the focus, the attention for someone else or yourself, is enough. Connection: With Yourself and With Another Shibari can be solo: you feel your own body, your breath, your calm. But shibari can also be a moment of deep connection with someone else. Not merely physical, but also energetic. You are completely present for someone, feeling their body, their breath, their trust. And they feel your attention in return. That is intimate. And for many, much more intense than physical contact alone. It is about trust. Does your partner know you are careful, attentive, present? Then they can fully relax. And that feeling goes both ways. Breath & Relaxation When rope embraces your body, something happens with your nerves. Your breathing can become deeper. Your heart rate can slow down. This is the parasympathetic nervous system at work: the same system that helps you sleep. You feel safe. And in that safety, calm emerges. For people who live in their heads or carry a lot of tension in their bodies, this can mean a breakthrough. Shibari & Self-Love Shibari is also a way to embrace yourself. Literally. Feeling your body, being aware of your own preferences (what feels pleasant, what doesn't), taking yourself seriously. That is self-love. When you use shibari to get in touch with yourself, to feel, to listen to your body, you are giving yourself attention in a way that many of us do not. And that changes something. How Do You Start With This? If you already know how to tie (if not, see our blog on how to start), you can take the next step: Ensure space: No distractions, no rushing. Half an hour where you won't be interrupted. Set an intention: For yourself or with your partner: what do you want to feel today? Calm? Connection? "Setting an intention" is part of the meditation. Breathe: Before you begin, take a few deep breaths. This helps your body and mind let go of the chores. Tie carefully: Not quickly. Feel the rope. Feel your body. Look at your partner if you are together, look into their eyes. This is attention. Sit still: After tying: sit for a moment, feel, be. This is the highlight. Not "doing" something, but being with the moment. Untie carefully: Let go of the moment softly. Massage the places where the rope was. Take your time. Many Things At Once Here's the thing: shibari can be both technique and meditation. You can practice knots and meditate with rope on the same day. The one does not exclude the other. Start where you are. Some start with pure interest in knots. And gradually, they feel that deeper calm. Others seek meditative calm right away. Both are okay. More Questions? Would you like some deeper tips, or do you have questions about how to apply this? Slide into our DMs on Instagram or email us at info@lielei.nl. We are happy to help. #talkwithlielei FAQ — Meditative Shibari Do you have to be spiritual to experience shibari as meditation? No. This isn't about spiritual woo-woo. This is simply neuroscience, what happens in your body and brain when you are fully present. Anyone can feel that. Can I practice this solo, or do I need someone? Both. Solo shibari can be very meditative; you feel your own body. With a partner, it can be even more intense because of the connection. It depends on your preference. How long does it take before you feel that "meditative feeling"? That varies. Some feel it immediately; others need a few sessions. Expectation can work against it; focus on the moment itself, not on "should I be calm now." Can shibari really help with stress? Yes. Because it gets you out of your head and into your body. That is where stress is resolved. But shibari is no substitute for professional help in cases of severe stress or trauma. What if I can't feel the meditative part? That's okay. Not everyone experiences it the same way. Some find the calm in the movement itself, not in "being." That counts, too. Can this help with trauma or dissociation? This is delicate territory. For some, body awareness is very healing. For others, it can be triggering. If necessary, seek guidance from a therapist.

5 ways to communicate in bed, without words "Just say what you like." Easier said than done. For many people, talking during sex feels awkward, stiff, or just... not the right moment. And that is perfectly okay. After all, communication doesn't always have to involve words. Your body is talking the whole time. The question is just whether you are letting it participate consciously. Here are five ways to make exactly what does and does not work clear, without saying a word. 1. Sound: moaning is feedback, not a side note A moan isn't just a sound; it's information. Responding louder and more often to what is working gives your partner a clear signal: this is it, keep doing this. Silence when something is less enjoyable works just as well in reverse. 2. Guide your partner with your hand Do you want a specific spot, pressure, or tempo? Simply place your partner's hand there, at the speed you find pleasant. No explanation is needed; just letting them feel what you mean is often clearer than searching for words. 3. Move along Pushing your hips toward a touch that feels good is one of the most direct signals there is. Your body is actually telling the story by itself. The art is to really let that story speak, instead of lying still. 4. Breathing Breathing faster and deeper with something that works is a signal that every body recognizes intuitively, even without you thinking about it. It is one of the most natural forms of communication that exists, and you don't have to "do" anything for it; it happens automatically as soon as you allow it. 5. Eye contact Looking at each other at the right moment says more than a whole sentence: stay here, this is it. Eye contact is subtle, but your partner almost always feels the difference immediately. Why non-verbal communication works Non-verbal signals take the pressure off. You don't have to find the right words in the middle of the moment, and your partner doesn't have to wait for an instruction to know if he, she, or they are on the right track. Moreover, it works both ways: the more you let your own body "talk," the easier it often becomes to simply add words to it at another time. The latter is the key. Non-verbal communication is not an endpoint; it is a stepping stone. Once you are used to giving signals, you usually find it less daunting to speak that same message out loud. What if you give signals, but nothing changes? Then that is the moment to put it into words, with a simple and positive sentence. Think of: - "That feels really good, stay there."- "A bit softer feels even better."- "Come here, let me show you." Being positive and concrete always works better than criticism. You are adjusting, rather than criticizing what was already happening. Getting to know your own body better also helps The better you know what you like, the easier it becomes to convey that (with or without words). Taking time for yourself, for example with a yoni egg to become more aware of your pelvic floor, or a vibrator like the Pawny to discover which touch works for you, is one of the easiest ways to build that knowledge. What you learn alone, you can then share together. Frequently asked questions about communicating in bed Why is talking during sex difficult for many people? Often out of insecurity, fear of ruining the mood, or simply because it feels awkward. Non-verbal signals are an accessible first step in that case. Is body language just as effective as talking? For many signals, yes. Sound, movement, breathing, and eye contact are often understood intuitively. For specific requests (like a certain spot or tempo), a combination of body language and a short, positive sentence is most effective. How do I start if I've never done this before? Start small: respond slightly more clearly with sound or movement to what already feels good. That is not a big step, but one that has an immediate effect. You don't have to have an elaborate conversation to have better sex. Sometimes a moan, a movement, or a look is enough to let your partner know exactly where you want to go.

You’re lying there, it’s all taking just a little too long, you realize your mind hasn’t been on the sex for a while, and then it happens: that convincing moan, that familiar little shudder, "yes, right there, oh my god." Faker alert. You did it. And you’re not alone; many others do it too. But here is the uncomfortable truth: faking doesn't solve anything. It can actually make your sex life worse. And here is why. 1. You deprive yourself of pleasure Every time you fake it, you send a clear signal to your body and your partner: this is enough, we’re stopping here. Even though you weren’t actually ready. Literally. You are missing out on an orgasm; the kind of relaxation, connection, and pure fun that your body deserves, because it just seemed easier to pretend. In the long run, you train yourself to believe that sex should stop before you reach your peak. That isn't a minor loss. That is denying yourself what is yours, time and time again. 2. You deprive your partner of pleasure Yes, your partner doesn't benefit from it either. Most people enjoy giving pleasure just as much as receiving it. If you fake it, you are stealing that experience from them. They think they’ve given you something wonderful, when in fact (not yet) they hadn't. Intimacy is about honesty. Faking draws a thick line through that, even if the intention is often well-meaning ("I don't want to disappoint him/her"). 3. You don't make any progress This is perhaps the biggest pitfall: your partner thinks whatever they are doing is working. So they keep on… doing it. Over and over. While you know in the meantime that it’s just not the right spot, pressure, or rhythm. Faking freezes the sex you have at its current level. There is no growth, no learning, no improvement. Because why would someone change something they think is already working perfectly? 4. It builds a pattern of distance Faking once is rarely the problem. The problem is when it becomes a habit. And habits in the bedroom are stubborn. Before you know it, you’re not faking once by accident, but as a standard practice, and an invisible wall begins to form between you and your partner that gets a little thicker every time. 5. Sex becomes a performance instead of an experience Faking fuels the idea that sex has a goal that must be "achieved," rather than an experience you share together. That performance pressure is counterproductive: the more you focus on playing a role, the less space there is to actually feel what is happening. And let’s be honest: reaching climax on command is difficult enough for most of us without that extra pressure. 6. You don't get to know your own body If you constantly fake it, you skip a crucial step: figuring out what you actually need. What touch, what pace, what pressure, what spot. Without that knowledge, you remain dependent on luck instead of insight—and that insight is exactly what you need to reach climax more often (and more easily), together or alone. So what can you do instead? The real solution is less exciting than faking, but much more effective: talk. During sex, or afterwards in bed, perhaps over a cup of tea. A few tips to get started: Say what does work. "That feels really good" is just as valuable as constructive feedback. Gently guide them. "A bit softer" or "a little more to the left" isn't a mood killer, it's a gift. Get to know yourself first. Taking time for yourself, for example with a yoni egg to become more aware of your pelvic floor and arousal, or a vibrator like Pawny to discover what works for you. That makes it a lot easier to share that with a partner later. Normalize that it doesn't always happen. Not every time needs to end in an orgasm to be good sex. Taking that pressure away actually makes reaching climax more likely at other times. You can find many more tips here about communication during sex. Stop faking Faking might feel like the easiest path in the moment. But in the long run, it costs you the very pleasure that it’s all about. Honesty — in the bedroom and beyond — always takes you further than a well-acted moan. Frequently asked questions about faking an orgasm Why do women fake orgasms more often than men? Often out of insecurity, time pressure, or to avoid disappointing their partner. Research shows that the majority of women have faked it at some point. Usually, it's to make the sex end sooner, not to please the other person. Additionally, the orgasm gap also plays a role. Is faking it occasionally a big deal? Doing it once won't ruin your relationship. But if it becomes a habit, it fools your partner about what works, and fools yourself about what you actually need. How do I stop faking without it being awkward? Start small: provide simple, positive guidance in the moment ("that feels good," "a bit higher"). That feels less confrontational than a major conversation and often works just as well. Does self-exploration (masturbation) help to fake less? Definitely. The better you know your own body, the easier it is to explain (or show) what works, instead of just making something up in the moment.

Normal, healthy and good for you both. Yes, really, masturbating while you are in a relationship can boost your sex life. More on that later. But first: there is a persistent idea that masturbation is something for when you are alone. That, once you are in a relationship, you shouldn't have any need for solo sex anymore. And that if you do it anyway, there is apparently something wrong. With you, with your partner, or with your relationship. And that is simply not true. Why masturbation is good for you Masturbation has demonstrable benefits for your physical and mental health. Not as an alternative to sex with a partner, but just on its own. Immune system - An orgasm stimulates the production of white blood cells. Good news for your resistance. Stress reduction - An orgasm releases endorphins that reduce stress and tension. Better sleep - The relaxation after an orgasm helps you fall asleep faster. Better mood - The dopamine and oxytocin that are released contribute to a positive feeling. Why solo sex is okay, even when you have a partner Sex with a partner is wonderful (if things are going well), but it also demands something of you. You are together in the moment, there is foreplay, you have to consider someone else. That is beautiful, but it also takes energy. Sometimes you need something that demands less from you. No coordination, no expectations, just yourself. And that is exactly what solo sex offers. It is more accessible, faster, and completely at your own pace. That has nothing to do with whether you find your partner attractive, whether your relationship is good, or whether you want to have sex together enough. They are simply two different things, each with their own place. Myths to let go of 1. "If you masturbate, you aren't satisfied with your partner." Solo sex and sex with a partner are separate things. Most people who masturbate regularly also have a satisfying sex life with their partner. The one does not exclude the other. 2. "Masturbation is for when you're on your own." Masturbation is normal in every stage of life and in every relationship situation. Whether you are single, in a committed relationship, or married for years, solo sex is simply part of it. 3. "Toys are only necessary if the sex isn't good." A vibrator or other toy is not a last resort. It is a way to discover more about what you like, and you can bring that knowledge to sex with your partner. Solo sex makes you a better (bed) partner The better you know what you like, the easier it is to communicate that to your partner. Masturbation is a form of self-knowledge. And self-knowledge makes you more conscious, more confident, and more open in bed. Many people discover through solo sex what they truly enjoy, separate from the expectations of someone else. They bring those discoveries to sex with their partner. That leads to better communication, and often better sex together too. Discover the best solo toys Curious which toys work well for solo sex? We have listed the very best solo sex toys for you. And you can use most of them together as well. Have fun!

Your body and your mind don't always work together. And that's perfectly normal. In this blog, we explain what getting wet actually is, why it's not the same as being aroused, and why natural lubricant is for everyone; not just for those "who can't get it up."

You already own a vibrator. And now you want something new, or something to complement it. But how do you choose what really suits you? We’ll help you choose. First: what do you want to feel? Before you choose, it’s helpful to know what you’re looking for. Do you want more of the same, but better? Or are you curious about a different type of stimulation? That question determines everything. What is the difference between the types? What is the difference between a clitoral vibrator and a G-spot vibrator? Here it is simply explained:  Clitoral vibrator: stimulates the clitoris from the outside. Often compact, easy to use, including with a partner. Stimulation can be via vibrations or air pressure (we explain the difference between these at the bottom of this page). G-spot vibrator: curved, for internal use. Aimed at the G-spot; that’s a sensitive spot at the front of the vagina. Rabbit vibrator and duo stimulation vibrator: combines both: internal and external simultaneously. Our honest advice per situation You already have a clitoral vibrator Then a G-spot vibrator is a logical next step. You will explore a completely different type of stimulation, internally instead of externally. → View G-spot vibrators You already have a G-spot vibrator Try an air-pressure clitoral vibrator. No vibrations, but gentle suction; many women describe this as a totally new sensation.  Do you prefer vibrations? There is plenty of choice there, too. You can also use your G-spot vibrator (if it vibrates) to stimulate your clitoris. However, these can sometimes be a bit awkward to hold. A finger vibrator or massage vibrator is ideal for this. → View all clitoral vibrators at LieLei You want to get the most out of one vibrator Internal and external stimulation at the same time. Does that sound like too much? Then a duo stimulation vibrator is for you, because you can use both sides independently, making the intensity easier to control. Does it sound like music to your ears? Then a rabbit vibrator is really something for you. Vibrations or air pressure: what is the difference? You’ve surely heard of air-pressure vibrators before. But what makes them different from a 'regular' vibrator? The difference is in how they stimulate — and that feels very different. Vibrations: direct contact A classic vibrator touches the clitoris and vibrates. Those vibrations pass through the skin and stimulate the nerves directly. You can vary in speed and pattern. Many women love this direct, controllable stimulation: you know exactly what you’re getting. Air pressure: without contact An air-pressure vibrator does not touch the clitoris. Instead, you place it around it, after which it uses gentle pulsing waves of air. This stimulates the clitoris contact-free: from all sides simultaneously. Many people describe this as a fuller, deeper sensation that leads to orgasm more quickly. In short Vibrations = direct contact, vibrating, easy to dose.  Air pressure = contact-free, suction, fuller feeling. Which one is better? That is personal. Do you already have a vibration-based vibrator? Then an air-pressure vibrator is a particularly interesting addition: it really feels different. The same applies in reverse. Why LieLei? At LieLei, we consciously choose a small, high-quality assortment. No endless scrolling marathons, just products that are good. All vibrators are made of body-safe material, free from phthalates, and sustainably sourced. Discreetly packaged, delivered quickly. Still having doubts? Just send us a message (info@lielei.nl). We’d be happy to think along with you, without judgment, without a sales pitch. Pure, honest advice.

You’re curious. Or you’ve been doubting for a while. Or someone secretly sent you a link and now you’re here together (or alone, for that matter). Either way: great plan. Because sex toys for couples can really add something—not because anything is missing, but simply because pleasure is more fun when you share it. But then again: where do you start? There is so much choice, and not everything is equally clear. We simply explain honestly which types there are, what suits whom, and why material matters more than you think. The result: the best choice for you and lots of fun... What are the best sex toys for couples? There is no universal "best sex toy"; it depends on what you like, how familiar you are with toys, and what you would like to experience together. But there are a few popular categories: 1. Vibrating cock ring The cock ring ensures that the penis remains erect for longer, and the vibrating part stimulates the clitoris. This vibrator is suitable for penetration. Suitable for: sex where at least one person has a penis and one has a vulva 2. Double-sided vibrator This vibrator can be used on both sides for penetration. Very suitable for two women. Suitable for: sex where at least two people possess a vulva 3. Massage vibrator This vibrator is suitable for your whole body. You can use it to give or receive massages. Suitable for: anyone with a body 4. Vibrator with remote control One of you wears it, the other is in control. Via a remote, you can control the intensity and the pattern. Perfect for at home or for an exciting evening out. Suitable for: sex where at least one person possesses a vulva, unless you have chosen the butt plug with remote control (which is suitable for everyone). 5. Butt plugs Speaking of butt plugs: they come in all shapes and sizes. Large butt plugs, small butt plugs, glass butt plugs, vibrating butt plugs (with or without remote control); there is something for everyone. Using a butt plug generally requires a bit more preparation than the aforementioned toys. Do you want to start with anal sex? Then first read tips for starting with anal sex. Suitable for: anyone with an anus 6. Finger vibrator Our favorite! A finger vibrator is a small vibrator that you slide onto your finger like a ring. As a result, the distance between your hand and the skin of your partner(s) feels small. But it has a big effect, as this vibrating vibrator can help you reach great heights when you touch the right spot with it. Suitable for: anyone with sensitive spots on their body. The finger vibrator is not only suitable for stimulating the clitoris, but also the anus and the perineum (that is the skin between the scrotum and the anus). 7. Double-sided air-pulse vibrator Most people know the air-pulse technology from the Satisfyer. The double-sided air-pulse vibrator has this too, only it also has a vibrating side. And you can use both sides at the same time. Suitable for: sex where at least one person has a vulva Toys to share Most sex toys are suitable for couples to use together. It just depends on how creative you are. However, some sex toys are simply more convenient to use when there are two (or more) of you. View all types of couple vibrators. Do you want to try something in bed other than the classic sex toys? Then think about: Bondage & Shibari Bondage or shibari (Japanese rope binding) might sound intense, but it can actually be very sensual and calm. Or make it kinky and exciting. Whatever you feel comfortable with. We have a complete Shibari & bondage collection made of sustainable hemp, jute, and/or cotton. Do you want to start with Shibari? Here you will find the starter guide with bondage tips. Massage oil & gels Do you find rope or a device a bit intimidating? Sometimes the fun starts before the sex. Massage oil is accessible, relaxing, and a lovely way to start together. Or try a stimulating gel. All of our massage oils and gels are made from natural ingredients. How do we begin? Tips for couples who are new to sex toys Start by talking. Sounds boring, but it isn’t. Simply scrolling through a webshop together (hello!), indicating what you find attractive and what you definitely don’t, already gives a lot of direction. Our tips for a good start: Start with something accessible: massage oil, a small vibrator, or a simple bondage set. Choose a toy that adds something for both of you, not just for one person. Read the description: a good toy has clear explanations about use and material. Set expectations to zero. It’s about experimenting, not performing. Frequently asked questions about sex toys for couples Can I use a vibrator during sex? Yes, absolutely! Using a vibrator can add an extra dimension to your sex life. Just be sure that your partner is also on board. Or start with the agreement that you are just going to try it, and if someone doesn't enjoy it, you try something else or stop. Although we consider the chance that you'll "stop" small... Is lubricant necessary with sex toys? Almost always recommended, yes. With silicone toys, always use natural lubricant. Other lubricants can damage the material. Our natural lubricants are specially selected for safety—for you and your toys. How do I clean a sex toy? Use a special toy cleaner. Then you can be sure that your toys are hygienically cleaned with a cleanser that is also skin-friendly and (especially for anyone with a vulva) does not disrupt your pH balance. What if my partner is hesitant? No pressure. Let the idea sink in. Sometimes it helps to browse together instead of buying immediately. Or start with something neutral like massage oil—no "sex toy" label, just a really lovely time together. Are your products packaged discreetly? Always. No logos on the box, neutral sender. What you buy stays between you. Which material is safe? And why does it matter? This is perhaps the most underestimated part of buying sex toys. Not every material is equally safe: some cheap toys contain phthalates or other toxic substances that can irritate your body. At LieLei, we only sell toys made of: 100% medicinal silicone (hygienic, skin-friendly, easy to clean) Glass (sustainable, temperature-sensitive, safe) Hemp and jute (for bondage / shibari) Vegan leather (think handcuffs, whips, and other BDSM items) No plastic, no phthalates, no toxic substances. That sounds logical, but it isn't always the case at other webshops. Ready to begin? Sex toys for couples don't have to be complicated. Find something that appeals to both of you, pay attention to the material, and don't forget that it should just be fun. View our full collection of sex toys for couples: safe, sustainable, and delivered discreetly.

Role playing can add some spice to your relationship. But it can be nerve-wracking to get started. How do you suggest the idea to your partner? What if you don't like it after all? How do you actually begin? We have listed a few tips for you. What actually is role playing? Role playing involves taking on a different role or persona within an intimate setting. Think of the classic "strangers in a bar," but also playful scenarios like: The strict (or conversely, clumsy) teacher The mysterious stranger traveling Two people who "accidentally" meet each other It is not about acting skills, but about fantasy, playfulness, and momentarily breaking free from the everyday. Why can role playing be good for your relationship? Are you in a (long-term) relationship? Then it is sometimes good to consciously step out of your set dynamic and explore a different interaction by adopting a different setting, attitude, or identity. It can break the routine, breathe new life into or enrich your sex life, and: Help break fixed patterns Stimulate curiosity and creativity Open up the conversation about desires and boundaries Provide more playfulness and connection How do you start with role playing? Good news: you don't have to memorize a script. Start small: Choose a simple scenario: who, what, and where is enough. Keep it close to yourself. Agree on boundaries; choose a safe word for peace of mind. Agree that laughter is always allowed. See it as an experiment, not a performance You can even start with just a different setting or tone, without going fully "in character." How do you ask your partner about this? This is often the most nerve-wracking part. Keep it light and close to yourself. A few examples: “I came across something about role playing and I was curious to know what you think about it.” “I notice that I enjoy exploring new things together, how do you feel about that?” Important: no is also okay. Enthusiasm only works if it comes from both sides. Play more Role playing is not a must and not a solution for everything. It is one of many ways in which partners can experiment with intimacy, fantasy, and communication. Above all, it requires mutual respect, curiosity, and safety. Not really into role playing, but still want to experiment with your partner? Seek connection through meaningful conversations. Experiment with surrender and dominance with Shibari; the Japanese art of bondage. Try a new toy together.

You might think of a specific spot on your body right away when you read the words 'erogenous zones.' And your thought about that spot will be a positive one... Nothing coming to mind? Then read on to discover what erogenous zones are and how to discover them (with pleasure). What are erogenous zones? Erogenous zones might sound like something from a biology lesson, but they are actually just spots on your body that are slightly more sensitive than the rest. Your body reacts to touch, warmth, breath, or light pressure in these areas. This can be pleasant, arousing, or simply very relaxing. And no: it’s not just about sex. Sometimes it’s primarily about attention and connection. Everyone has them—but not everyone has them in the same places. Where are erogenous zones located? Many people immediately think of the genitals when they hear 'erogenous zones,' but the body has many more. You might already know these spots (or they might be worth touching lovingly): Neck and throat Ears Lips and mouth Chest and nipples Abdomen and lower back Inner thighs Hands and wrists Feet and toes In addition, there are other spots, such as the scalp, knees, or even the crook of the elbow. It is different for everyone what counts as an erogenous zone and what does not. Does everyone have the same number of erogenous zones? Nope. One person seems to be one big erogenous zone, while another might only be able to point out a few. How many you have depends on your body, your experiences, your mood, and above all: how relaxed you are. Because stress is a real mood-killer. A quick summary of what influences your special spots: Biology – how sensitive your nervous system is Experience – touches you have learned to find pleasant Context and trust – who is touching you and in what setting Mental state – stress or relaxation influences what you feel Is it useful to know what your erogenous zones are? You can certainly call it useful to know what you like. If you know your own erogenous zones, you can play with them consciously: during foreplay with a partner or to pamper yourself. Knowing what works makes everything more relaxed and fun. Tips for stimulating erogenous zones Want to go on a voyage of discovery? A few simple, accessible tips: Start slowlyLess is often more. Soft touches, light pressure, or even just being near one another can be enough. Use varietyAlternate between warm/cold, soft/a bit firmer, hand/lips. Surprise makes you more sensitive. Play with tempoDon’t move to the next spot immediately. Linger for a while. That build-up makes a big difference. Communicate (yes, really)A simple “do you like this?” or “that feels good” makes everything more relaxed and enjoyable. Listen to your bodyBreathing, goosebumps, relaxation—these are all signals. You don’t have to force anything. Remember: no performanceThere is no right or wrong. What feels good today might feel different tomorrow. Can your erogenous zones change? They certainly can. Through new experiences, more self-knowledge, or simply because your life changes. So keep on exploring.

This is why talking for real is the key to more intimacy A strong and fulfilling sex life doesn't start in bed, but with something many couples underestimate: good communication. Whether you have been together for years or are just looking to breathe new life into your relationship: talking about desires, needs, and emotions is the best way to create more intimacy and connection. In this blog, you will read: Why communication improves your sex life How emotional connection leads to more passion Tips for better communication as a couple How the Together couple's game gets conversations started Why communication is so important in your sex life 1. You understand each other's needs and boundaries better Open communication ensures that you know what your partner enjoys, what they find exciting, and where their boundaries lie. This prevents misunderstandings and makes intimacy naturally more pleasant and safer. 2. If you talk, emotional connection grows A strong emotional bond builds trust – and trust is the foundation for a good sex life. When you can fully trust your partner, you dare to be vulnerable, and deeper intimacy emerges. 3. Communication reduces stress and insecurity Many couples experience tension or insecurity regarding sex. By talking about it, calm and clarity are created. This makes room for fun, playfulness, and passion. 4. You break the routine and keep things exciting By talking about your needs, wishes, and fantasies, you prevent your sex life from becoming routine. This opens the door to new experiences and more pleasure. How communication creates a better sex life You feel seen and appreciated → more desire You dare to voice your wishes → more variety You create emotional depth → more intense intimacy You strengthen the relationship both outside and inside the bedroom A good conversation can be enough to bring you closer together again. And that connection automatically translates into more physical attraction. How can you communicate better with your partner? 1. Make time for a real conversation Plan a quiet moment without phones, children, or distractions. Intimacy begins with attention. 2. Start with simple, safe questions Examples: What makes you feel most loved? What do you sometimes miss in our connection? What gives you energy in our relationship? 3. Use ‘I’ statements Not: “You don't do this right.”But: “I feel…”This opens the conversation without blame. 4. Keep it light and playful Talking about intimacy doesn't have to be heavy. A playful element helps conversations flow more naturally. TIP: Use a game to make it easier – discover Together Do you find it difficult to start conversations about intimacy, desires, and emotions? Then the Together couple's game is perfect. Why Together works: Stimulates conversations you wouldn't normally have Deepening questions as well as spicy questions Ideal for getting to know each other all over again Creates more connection and intimacy Playful, accessible, and romantic It is a simple tool to help you grow closer as a couple. Thanks to Together, many couples experience more openness and a renewed spark in their sex life. Get together A better sex life starts with truly understanding one another. By talking about what you need, what you desire, and what you feel insecure about, a deeper connection is formed – and that very connection makes sex more intense, playful, and satisfying. Want to start easily and in a fun way?Try the Together couple's game and discover how powerful good communication can be for your relationship and sex life.

How to create more intimacy and connection A good sex life doesn't start in the bedroom — it starts with communication. Many couples struggle with intimacy, desire, or connection, while the key is often surprisingly simple: really talking to each other. But why is communication so important? And how does talking help improve your sex life? In this blog, you will discover how open conversations not only bring you closer together, but can also reignite the spark completely. Why communication is the foundation of a strong sex life 1. You understand each other's needs better Everyone has different desires, boundaries, and expectations. If you don't know what your partner enjoys — or vice versa — it soon becomes difficult to give each other what you need. Open conversations create understanding, which leads to trust and relaxation. And relaxation is precisely what is essential for good sex. 2. Communication creates emotional safety When you feel safe with your partner, you feel more comfortable being vulnerable. That could mean sharing fantasies, setting boundaries, or talking about things you feel insecure about. This emotional safety translates directly into more depth and intimacy in bed. 3. You break through misunderstandings and silences Without communication, partners often make assumptions about each other, resulting in frustration or distance. By talking, you prevent miscommunication — making room for connection, playfulness, and passion. How good communication improves your sex life ✔ You feel seen and heard When you notice that your partner is listening, paying attention, and understands you, your connection grows. That connection is the foundation for greater physical attraction. ✔ You dare to experiment more Conversations make it easier to try new things and be open to each other's wishes. This keeps your sex life vibrant and exciting, rather than predictable. ✔ You strengthen the bond outside and inside the bedroom Many couples find that better communication not only improves their sex life, but also their relationship as a whole. A stronger emotional bond automatically translates into more desire and intimacy. How to go about it: communicating about intimacy? Talking effectively about sex or feelings isn't second nature to everyone. For many couples, it feels nerve-wracking or awkward. Fortunately, there are simple ways to get started: 1. Start with small, safe questions Ask, for example: What did you enjoy about our day together? What makes you feel connected to me? This opens the door to deeper conversations. 2. Use "I" statements Instead of: "You do..."Say: "I feel..."That prevents defensive reactions and makes room for true listening. 3. Keep it fun and lighthearted A conversation about intimacy doesn't have to be heavy. Make it a moment of connection, for example with a glass of wine, candles, or a game. Use a game to make conversations easier – discover Together Do you want to talk more easily about desires, emotions, and connection without it feeling 'heavy'? Then the Together game for couples is a perfect tool. Why Together works: It contains playful and profound questions that help couples get to know each other better. It also includes spicy questions that naturally get conversations about intimacy flowing. It helps couples be more honest and open in a safe and fun way. The game makes it easy to discuss topics you might normally find difficult to bring up. By engaging in conversation together, you not only create more understanding and connection, but you will often notice that your sex life gets a huge boost. After all, connection is the foundation of desire. Communication is the key to a better sex life Good sex is not just about technique, but above all about connection. By communicating, you: understand each other's desires better, create safety and trust, and strengthen both your emotional and physical intimacy. Do you want a fun and low-threshold way to get started? Try the Together game for couples and discover how talking takes your relationship and sex life to a higher level.  

Talking about sex and intimacy with your partner can be exciting. Many couples want to better align their needs and desires, but don't really know how to start the conversation about sex. Yet, open communication can lead to more connection, trust, and pleasure in your relationship. In this blog, you will discover practical tips for having a pleasant and constructive conversation. Tips for a good conversation about sex and intimacy with your partner Choose a relaxed moment Timing is everything. Don't start talking about sex while your partner is busy with chores, or just before you have to head out the door. Instead, choose a calm and relaxed moment when you both have time and attention. This prevents the conversation from feeling rushed or superficial. Start and end positively Do you want to discuss something you find difficult? Start and end the conversation with something you actually enjoy. For example: “I love it when you touch me like that”. This makes your partner feel appreciated and prevents the conversation from sounding like an attack. Use "I" statements By speaking in the "I" form, you share from your own experience and feelings. For example, say: “I notice that I don't find this very comfortable” instead of “You are doing this wrong”. This makes the conversation softer and more personal, making your partner less likely to feel attacked. Ask questions and listen A good conversation about sex and intimacy is not a monologue. Ask questions like: “I enjoy this and would like to do it more often. What makes you happy?”. This creates space for mutual understanding and helps you discover what you both find important. Be open about your vulnerability It is perfectly okay to say that you find it difficult to talk about sex. A sentence like: “I would like to talk to you about our sex life, but I find it quite nerve-wracking” often removes a lot of tension. Vulnerability creates more intimacy and trust. Choose neutral ground Avoid the bedroom as a permanent conversation location. It can be nicer to talk on neutral ground, such as during a walk or a coffee break. This prevents the place where you are normally intimate from feeling loaded. Use a starting point Do you find it difficult to just start? Use a starting point, such as a podcast (for example Make Love Work) or an article you have read. You can then say: “I heard something interesting the other day… what do you think about that?”. That makes the conversation feel more natural and less heavy. Don't wait too long The longer you walk around with the thought that you want to discuss something, the harder it often becomes. Just start the conversation. The sooner you talk about it, the lighter and more open the atmosphere remains. Let's talk about sex baby... A good conversation about sex and intimacy with your partner doesn't have to be complicated at all. By choosing the right moment, staying positive, asking questions, and being vulnerable, you create a safe space for openness and connection. This way, talking about sex becomes not only less nerve-wracking, but actually a way to get closer to each other.

Are you looking for original date ideas that are just a bit more exciting than dinner or a night at the movies? Or would you and your partner like to rekindle the spark with an intimate and naughty couples' outing? Then we have just the inspiration for you. From free dates to more luxurious outings—all perfectly combinable with our latest must-have: Comfrey, the stylish and discreet wearable vibrator that can be operated with a remote control. Ideal for those who like to spice up their dating tips with a touch of excitement. 1. Wine Tasting With A Twist A wine tasting is always fun (we think), but with Comfrey in your bag, it becomes an exciting date to never forget. While you enjoy a good Chardonnay, let your partner (or yourself) subtly operate the remote. Flirty, daring, and guaranteed to be a little secret between the two of you. Tip: Want to make it even more intimate? Choose a small venue for the wine tasting, or perhaps even one with (unknown) company. 2. Netflix & Chill Is your 'Netflix & chill' literally just Netflix and chilling? Then it's time for an upgrade. Pick a sultry movie (or horror, if that’s your thing), get the popcorn, turn on the candlelight… and of course have Comfrey discreetly switched on under the blankets. That way, your ‘Netflix & Chill’ suddenly turns into a real erotic date. 3. Night Walk With A Surprise Find a quiet walking path or park in the evening (safety first!) and go on a date under the stars together. The tension of the darkness, the silence… and the subtle sensations of a wearable vibrator make this an unforgettable experience. Extra spicy: Sit down on a bench somewhere to kiss under the stars. That, combined with the wearable vibrator... How long until you're back home? 4. Dinner In A Chic Restaurant For those looking to invest in a more luxurious couples' outing: book a table at that one restaurant you’ve been wanting to go to for months. Under the table, while you chat about everything and nothing, Comfrey provides a secret tension that ends the evening with fireworks. 5. Art Museum With A Naughty Edge A cultural date idea that can become surprisingly sensual: visit an art museum together. Amidst the quiet rooms, classical statues, and modern paintings, you can experience each other’s company (and Comfrey) in a whole new way. Art has never been this stimulating. 6. Picnic In The Park A cheap and romantic option: lay down a blanket in the park, bring some snacks, and… secretly wear the vibrator. While others walk by unsuspecting, you share a discreet game full of naughty signals. Note: Always ensure you are respectful and discreet in public spaces. 7. Festival Day Is it the bass of the music or Comfrey making your body vibrate? Good vibrations guaranteed. A day at a festival with a wearable vibrator can be extra exciting because you are surrounded by so many other people. Tip: To avoid any awkward looks at bag checks, it’s a good idea to already be wearing the vibrator. Have fun! With these dating tips, we show that an exciting date doesn't have to be complicated or expensive. Whether you choose a fancy dinner or a simple evening stroll: with Comfrey, our innovative wearable vibrator, every date becomes an adventure. Let the fun begin!   About Comfrey Comfrey is a wearable vibrator. You insert the long side to stimulate the G-spot. The flat part also vibrates and stimulates your clitoris. You operate this vibrator with a remote control. This means you can easily wear this vibrator while running your daily errands. Prefer no clitoral stimulation? Then choose the Love Egg with remote control.

Kissing. It’s something we often take for granted in a relationship, but did you know that kissing is actually a powerful and healthy habit? It doesn't just give you butterflies in your stomach; it can also do a surprising amount for your body and your love life. In this blog, you’ll read why kissing is good for your health and why it is essential for couples to kiss regularly.   Kissing is good for your health Kissing activates all sorts of processes in your body that contribute to your physical and mental well-being: Stress-reducing effect: During kissing, oxytocin is released, also known as the "cuddle hormone." This substance helps you relax and reduces stress and anxiety. Boosts your immune system: By exchanging bacteria (might sound gross, but it's actually good!), you stimulate your defense mechanism. Your body becomes better at recognizing and fighting pathogens. Burns calories: A passionate kiss can burn up to 6 calories per minute. Not a replacement for the gym, but hey—every little bit helps! Good for your heart: During kissing, your heart rate increases, which ensures better blood circulation. Just like light cardio! Pain relief: Endorphins released during kissing can soothe pain, for example with headaches or menstrual cramps. Kissing strengthens your relationship Kissing isn't just about desire—it’s also a powerful form of emotional communication. It helps couples feel connected and loved. Connection and intimacy: Regular kissing creates a deeper emotional bond. You literally feel closer to one another. Affirmation of love: In a busy life full of distractions, a spontaneous kiss can be a subtle yet powerful way to say, “I see you. I choose you.” Prevents distance: In long-term relationships, a rut can sometimes creep in. By continuing to kiss, you keep the romance alive and prevent yourselves from losing sight of each other emotionally. Better communication: Physical proximity and affection, like kissing, make it easier to remain open and vulnerable with each other. That helps in resolving conflicts and deepening trust. Make kissing a habit Some couples kiss a lot at the beginning of the relationship, but it tapers off afterwards. What a shame! By consciously kissing regularly, you keep reminding each other of the love you share. Small tips: Greet each other with a kiss – not just on autopilot, but truly with attention. Take a moment now and then for a long, loving kiss. Just because. Don't forget to kiss outside the bedroom, either. Intimacy belongs in every moment of the day. Kissing is much more than just a romantic gesture. It’s a natural boost for your health and an essential glue for your relationship. So why wait? Give your partner a kiss—it’s good for both of you.

Safe sex is more than just using contraceptives like condoms. Safe sex also means using good products—even when you’re having sex with yourself. Because did you know that many sex toys and lubricants are still made from materials that are better off not being used in or on your body? And that poor-quality lubricant or toy cleaner can disrupt your natural balance? In this blog, we’ll explain why safe sex toys and intimate products aren't just an unnecessary luxury, but a must. And how, at Lielei.nl, you can be sure you’re choosing safe, sustainable, and enjoyable alternatives. Why the material of your vibrator (really) matters Many people don’t think about it, but the quality of the material used in your vibrator or butt plug is important. Toys made from cheap silicone or plastic can contain plasticizers (such as phthalates), which can be harmful to your health. These substances can cause irritation, allergic reactions, or even hormonal disruptions. Always make sure your sex toys are made from body-safe materials such as medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, and borosilicate glass. These materials are: Free from phthalates and (micro)plastics Easy to clean Free from toxic substances Durable and wear-resistant This way, you not only enjoy wonderful self-care moments, but you also know for sure that you aren't taking any risks. Safe sex = safe lubricant too A safe toy deserves a safe lubricant. Many lubricants contain parabens, glycerin, or fragrance—ingredients that can disrupt your vaginal flora or cause irritation. That’s why you should always choose a lubricant that suits both your body and your toy. Because even if you don't react to the lubricant, it can sometimes damage your sex toy. What a shame! When buying a lubricant, always ensure that it is: Compatible with silicone toys. pH-neutral and vegan. Free from unnecessary junk. This keeps your intimate area healthy and your toy in top condition. Water-based lubricant is often a good choice. However, sometimes you are better off choosing a silicone-based lubricant. Want to know when to choose which? Take a look at this blog. Cleaning = respect for yourself and your toy Another important aspect of safe sex is hygiene. Cleaning your toy with water alone? Unfortunately, that is often not enough. A good toy cleaner not only removes visible residue but also kills bacteria without damaging your toy. We only offer mild, effective toy cleaners that: Do not contain alcohol (so they are gentle on silicone). Are quick and easy to use. Extend the lifespan of your toy. This keeps both you and your toy happy.   Sustainable, conscious, and body safe: that’s Lielei Whether you’re looking for a safe vibrator, a sustainable dildo, a lubricant without the fuss, or a toy cleaner that actually works—at Lielei, you shop with peace of mind. We carefully test and select all our products, so you know: this is truly safe sex. Do you want to be sure that your toys are safe for your body and good for the planet? Take a look around our webshop or read more in our other tips & tricks blogs.

How to Say What You Want (Without Ruining the Moment)? Sex is wonderful. Exciting. Intimate. And often... quiet. Many people find it nerve-wracking to talk during sex. Yet, communication is precisely the key to truly great, synchronized sex. But how do you actually do it? How do you tell your partner to go faster, or perhaps slower? How do you indicate that you would prefer to be touched in a different spot, without disrupting the mood? In this blog, we provide practical tips for communicating honestly, clearly, and sexily in bed. 1. Make communication part of the excitement Many people think of "talking about sex" as a serious conversation at the kitchen table. That can certainly be valuable, but during sex itself, it can also remain playful and exciting. A simple whisper like "a little softer there...", or "yes, stay right there..." can provide a lot of direction and heighten the tension. Tip: Start small. A compliment followed by a suggestion often works well, such as: "Mmm, that feels good... maybe a little slower?" 2. Use your body and your voice Communication doesn't always have to be verbal. You can also use your body to indicate what you want. Gently push a hand in a different direction, move your hips to the rhythm that feels good to you, or hold someone still if you want to take a break. Tip: Non-verbal contact can be a very sensual form of attunement. Also pay attention to how your partner reacts to your signals – that’s how you get to know each other even better. 3. Say what you want, not just what you don’t want Negative feedback ("not there!" or "that hurts") may be necessary – and should always be able to be given safely. But if that is the only form of communication, it can feel like rejection. So, try to mention what you *do* want as well. Example: Instead of "not so rough," you can say: "Softer is better for me, then I can feel you more." 4. Use positive reinforcement When your partner does something you like, let them know. Moaning, sighing, moving, or simply saying: "yes, like that" – it helps your partner understand what works and builds confidence. Bonus: People learn faster from positive feedback than from negative feedback. So the more you show what you like, the more often you will get it back. 5. Be honest, but gentle Sometimes you want something to be different, but you are afraid of hurting your partner. Remember: true intimacy is also about vulnerability. If you express something in a loving way, you create space for more pleasure for both of you. Example: "I'm really enjoying this moment, and I think I would enjoy it even more if you went a little lower with your hand." 6. After sex: debrief without pressure A short post-sex chat doesn't have to be heavy. Ask, for example: "What did you enjoy most?" or "Was there anything you would have liked to be different?". This creates space for growth, connection, and even better sex in the future. Communicating = sexy Talking during sex doesn’t have to kill the mood – it can actually deepen it, make it more playful, and lead to more pleasure for both of you. See communication as part of foreplay and part of the enjoyment itself. And don't be afraid to learn. That, too, is sexy. 💬 Have you found a good way to communicate during sex? Share it with us via Instagram @fun.with.lielei or leave a comment below this blog. You can also send in a question. Who knows, we might answer it soon in a #talkwithlielei video. Curious about how we do that? Watch the video below. #TalkwithLieLei

Sex toys can be great tools for making your sex life more exciting, intimate, and creative. But not everyone feels comfortable with the idea right away. Sometimes your partner might feel insecure: "Am I not enough?", "Am I doing something wrong?", or "Am I being replaced now?" are feelings that are quite normal in such a situation. The way you introduce toys therefore makes a world of difference. Here are a few tips to do so lovingly and respectfully. Tips for introducing sex toys 1. Start outside the bedroom Choose a quiet moment to bring up the subject, for example during a walk or a relaxed evening on the couch. This way, you don't immediately associate the conversation with performance or pressure. You could say something like: "I saw something interesting about toys recently and I thought: that sounds like something fun for us to explore together." This keeps it light and open. So don't suddenly pull a huge dildo out of your nightstand in the middle of sex (unless you know your partner finds that hilarious). Because laughing together in bed = always good. 2. Focus on the 'together' Make it clear right away that it’s not about replacement, but about enhancement. Explain that you see it as a new experience you share together. Say, for example: "I already love what we have, but I'm curious about what else we can discover together." This emphasizes that you are satisfied, but also curious. 3. Build the fantasy together Invite your partner to explore toys with you. Browse through a sexy webshop together, send a cheeky suggestion via WhatsApp, or suggest picking out a toy together. Involve your partner — it then becomes ‘our project’ instead of ‘my wish’. 4. Ask questions and really listen Give your partner space to share their feelings. Ask: "How do you feel about that idea?" and be genuinely interested in the answer, without pushing. Perhaps your partner has concerns that you can come up with solutions for together — for example, trying something small and simple first, or reading information together first. 5. Start small Don't go full throttle immediately with bondage kits and powerful wand vibrators, unless you are both ready for that. Small, subtle toys like a luxury bullet, a clitoral stimulating oil, or a soft massage vibrator are perfect entry-level items that invite exploration without pressure. The goal is to spark curiosity, not to overwhelm. 6. Keep it playful Don't introduce the toy as a serious "test," but as a playful extra. Laughing is allowed, fumbling is too. By keeping it light, you take away a lot of pressure. 7. Check in regularly Ask during the experimentation (or afterward): "How did you like it?" This shows you care about their experience and that everything is open for discussion. Maybe your partner wants to adjust things, or new ideas have come up. 8. Praise the reaction, not the toy When you use a toy, focus on your partner: how beautiful they look when they’re enjoying themselves, how good they sound, how it turns you both on. Don’t just say: "Wow, this vibrator is amazing." Say instead: "You are so incredibly sexy when you enjoy yourself like that." That small difference makes it emotionally safe — and very hot. Using sex toys together The most important thing is that it doesn't become a 'must'. Sexual discoveries are only truly fun when both partners feel safe, desired, and appreciated. Patience, openness, and humor are your greatest allies here. Playing together is winning together. Are you ready? Then take a look at all sex toys that are suitable for couples who are just getting started. Want to see all sex toys for couples? You can find them here.   #TalkwithLieLei Do you want to hear (and see) our advice as well? Then check out the video below from #TalkwithLieLei.  

In a world where more and more people are making conscious choices for themselves and the planet, it is time for the bedroom (or wherever you like...) to join this green revolution as well. At LieLei, we believe that pleasure and sustainability go hand in hand. That is why we are proud of our collaboration with The Natural Love Company – a brand that knows how to combine sexy and sustainable like no other. F*ck yourself, not the planet The Natural Love Company is a pioneer in the field of eco-friendly sex toys. Their mission is clear: to make sexual wellness accessible and responsible, without compromising on quality, aesthetics, or pleasure. All products from this brand are designed with care, with an eye for the environment, ethics, and your body. Eco-friendly materials What makes these toys so special is the conscious choice for sustainable materials. Think of: Biodegradable or recycled packaging, so that no unnecessary waste ends up in the environment. High-quality body-safe silicone, free from harmful substances such as phthalates, BPA, and latex. Sustainable production processes, where waste is kept to a minimum and energy consumption is critically monitored. Ocean plastic: we are not usually fans of plastic, but this is the exception. For some toys (such as the mini vibrator Elemi, love egg with remote control, and the air pressure rabbit vibrator), TNLC uses ocean plastic. That is recycled plastic from the ocean. The plastic is only used on the inside of the sex toys, so it does not come into contact with your body. Good for you and for the ocean. Fairly and ethically produced In addition to environmental friendliness, ethics are a key pillar for The Natural Love Company. They produce transparently, fairly, and without exploitation. No mass production in shady factories, but conscious production in collaboration with partners who take human rights and working conditions seriously. Playful, stylish, and responsible What we find extra nice about this brand? Their products are not only responsible but also simply beautiful to look at and wonderful to use. From elegant vibrators to stylish bondage ropes: every toy is designed with attention to detail, ease of use, and aesthetics. Hot nights, cool planet By choosing a toy from The Natural Love Company, you are choosing more than just pleasure. You are supporting a movement toward more conscious consumption, even in your most intimate moments. And that feels extra good, doesn't it? In addition, they donate 1% of their proceeds to an environmental charity and a tree is planted for every purchase. What are you waiting for? 👉 View the collection