Solo sex in a relationship

Normal, healthy, and good for you both.

Yes, really, masturbating while in a relationship can boost your sex life. More on that later. But first: there's a persistent idea that masturbation is something for when you're alone. That once you're in a relationship, you shouldn't feel the need for solo sex anymore. And that if you do it anyway, something is apparently wrong. With you, with your partner, or with your relationship. And that's not true.

Why masturbation is good for you

Masturbation has demonstrable benefits for your physical and mental health. Not as an alternative to sex with a partner, but simply on its own.

• Immune system - An orgasm stimulates the production of white blood cells. Good news for your immune system.
• Stress reduction - Endorphins are released during an orgasm, which reduce stress and tension.
• Better sleep - The relaxation after an orgasm helps you fall asleep faster.
• Better mood - Dopamine and oxytocin released contribute to a positive feeling.

Why sometimes solo, even when you have a partner

Sex with a partner is wonderful (when it's good), but it also demands something from you. You are together in the moment, there's foreplay, you're considerate of another person. That's beautiful, but it also takes energy.

Sometimes you need something that demands less from you. No coordination, no expectations, just yourself. And that's exactly what solo sex offers. It's more accessible, faster, and completely at your own pace.

That has nothing to do with whether you find your partner attractive, whether your relationship is good, or whether you have enough desire for sex together. They are simply two different things, each with its own place.

Myths it's time to let go of

Solo sex and sex with a partner are separate. Most people who masturbate regularly also have a satisfying sex life with their partner. One does not exclude the other.