The sense and nonsense about libido

Libido. What exactly is libido? And is it really true that men in particular have a high libido? Can you increase your libido? And do libido boosters really work? Time to sort out the sense and nonsense.

What is libido?

Quite simply: libido is your desire for sex . Your sexual desire, your "goesting," as the Flemish so aptly put it. It's not a switch that's on or off, but rather a slider that sometimes sits comfortably high (yes, let's go!) and sometimes so low that you wonder if you'll ever get it back.

Is libido the same for men and women?

Short answer: no, but also yes .

Men often have the reputation of having a libido that's always "on." Spoiler alert: that's a persistent myth. Men can also suffer from decreased libido due to stress, fatigue, or relationship problems.

Women are often told they have a lower libido. This is also nonsense. It can just be a bit different: for many women, emotional connection plays a greater role, making the "on switch" less responsive.

So: libido is present in everyone, but the form and triggers vary. It's more customized than a standard factory setting.

Can you increase or decrease your libido?

Yes! But before you enthusiastically Google "libido boosters," a small disclaimer: it's not a matter of one pill or one trick. Libido is a cocktail of physical, emotional, and even social factors.

Some influences:

• Stress & Fatigue : There’s nothing more libido-killing than a ten-foot to-do list that keeps running through your head.
  
• Relationship quality : If you've been arguing for weeks about who's going to empty the dishwasher, chances are you're unlikely to feel like having a heated romp afterward.
  
• Hormones : Think of the cycle in women, testosterone in men, or changes during menopause.
  
• Health : Certain medications, alcohol or a lot of exercise can have an influence.
  
  

How can you influence your libido?

A few light-hearted tips that often help more than you think:

1. Sleep is sexy – a rested body is more productive.
2. Communicate – yes, sometimes talking is just as exciting as touching (and often the best start).
   
3. Exercise – sports make you feel better about yourself, and that radiates to others.
   
4. Variety – foreplay is fun, but surprises keep the fire burning.
   
5. Mindset – stop comparing. Your libido doesn't have to be "average" or "normal." It's yours, and that's perfectly fine.

Finally

Libido isn't a scoreboard where you can lose "high" or "low." It's more like a dance you perform with your body (and perhaps your partner). Sometimes it goes wild and nearly shoots through the roof, sometimes it ripples or completely disappears. And that's all okay.